heck
Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Windsor Heights, United States
Pissed
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
overflowing
United States
Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML
caqi33
United States
Butterfingers
Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML
Tib
United States
Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
thinking of military school
Today, I drug tested my son for weed. He purposely filled the cup up to the top out of spite and I got piss all over my hands. Oh, and he failed. FML
xharmonyx
United States
Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML
Anonymous
Are you taking the piss?
Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML
urinanalysis
Canada
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
slaughterteddy
United States
Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML
Confused
Bath, United States
Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML
Top comments
5t3ff1k4h 47
The idea of a drug test is to ensure you don't have any drugs in your system, not to see how many drugs you can cram into your system at once. YDI.
theblondeone 16
Why would you take a drug test if you know you're going to fail?
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Comments (71)
Sparx1_1 16
YDI. If you want to do drugs, then don't work for a company that requires drug tests.
Giraffie5 11
Maybe the reason you pissed yourself is because you were high out of your damn mind. YDI
flyerpretender 3
Too high?!!! (Punt intended) :p
rt58killer10 20
I'm legit pissed off at the people saying YDI just because they took a drug. It could be as simple as weed, which ain't that bad. Yes, if it's like cocain or heroin then fine but it doesn't state anywhere what drug it is, so stop judging.
GhostFox 34
People are judging OP because they not only took a drug test they KNEW they would fail, but that they seem to have gone to the test under the influence of the drug. Putting that aside, even doing "just weed" is a crime if it isn't somewhere recreational use is legal, and "just weed" is as much of a drug as alcohol and opiates- habit forming, body damaging, and altering the chemical composition of the body, just to a lesser degree than opiates. And, using your own logic, we don't know that OP ISN'T using a harder drug. So yes, people are judging OP because they are making bad decisions and expecting pity for them. It doesn't matter if you and whatever portion of the population support recreational use of marijuana- if it's illegal where OP lives or the program of company requesting the drug test doesn't permit people to be users, OP has to live with the consequences of their decision to use whatever drug.
AssCancer 5
It sucks because drugs should be legalized
potuyit 10
Were you high
marcwurst 1
You idiot