Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML
Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded, "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded, "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML
Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML
Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with, "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML
Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML
Today, I went out with my parents and a family friend. After saying goodbye to the friend and as soon as the elevator doors shut, my parents started trash-talking the friend's looks, stature, choice of clothes, etc. Now I understand a lot about my education growing up. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
Today, it's again one of many times my mom dropped me off at the mall to hang out with friends. Since I have no friends, I shop by myself and always tell her I had "so much fun". FML
Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML
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Top comments
Teyros 24
Bring your friends over and show him up!
XxDevilxXGt 26
OP would be a bit late on the comeback though, just sayin'. :P Later that day: OP:"By the way dad, you can't even pretend because you KNOW you don't have friends!" Dad: "Honey, you probably had to browse the internet to come up with that." OP: *runs away to post another FML*
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Comments (81)
BlackPhenom 9
well that's... lovely...
ICastillo 25
Just bring home a bunch a guy friends that LOOK shady and untrustworthy. Lets see what he says then.
SonOfAMitch 14
Maybe: "Silly Mary, trying to get friends by taking drugs."
androiddestroya 7
You spiteful son of a Mitch...
SonOfAMitch 14
Silly android, I prefer 'cupcake'.
androiddestroya 7
Well played
cmbar831 14
Show your friends to him and prove him wrong!
brackaman 18
Dad: these are your friends huh? You there, what's her name? Dude: her name? Uhh... Sally, or martha or something.. Look sir, I'm just here for the $50
thursday817 6
Do you not have friends? If you do then this fml is stupid. Sounds exactly like something my parents, grandparents, friends parents, etc would say.
emilyjgraham 34
Sounds like something most parents would say!
gummybear1996 13
That sounds like my life. And my name is Mary too...
poccocurantes 7
Counter with; "you probably still think I'm a virgin too."
SnoochBoochie 14
I would love to see the reaction to that!
redbandit9877 12
One house party later, he'll eat those words
onorexveritas 24
well, now we know your parents are lame
B5B0N35 18
thats just messed up
melkymac101 17
Nice pep talk dad.