Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Today, I mowed our lawn without being asked. My sister wouldn't stop yelling at me for not checking with her, because she wanted the grass to get long enough to "play jungle" in. My mom sided with her. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML
Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML
Today, I found out my dad gets my younger brother a Big Gulp from 7/11 every time he mows the yard. I mowed for three years straight and never got anything. FML
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Top comments
lifeislife_fml 0
Do it in spirals next time!
tarheel22893 0
For being ungrateful, you should punish him by mowing a giant penis into the yard,,, or if you want to be really mean,, you could make that original penis, label it "average", and then mow in a comparably small one and label it "Dad/his actual name" (by labeling, I mean you mow the words average and dad/his actual name below the respective penises) and then take a picture of both from the roof of your house and send them to all his know acquaintances (from an anonymous email address) and then mow the areas around them to hide your handiword
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Comments (164)
thebigslim 13
There really a difference to whether it is cut vertical or horizontal?
blueknight1st 26
WTF? It's just a ******* slab of dirt with stupid green shit growing on it. Who gives a shit what way it's cut as long as it gets cut?
pernicious_pink 12
Well, geez, that's messed up.
Rosalind_fml 0
Your dad's an asshole. You should mow that on the law next time. "ASSHOLE" complete with diagrams.
margie4peace 11
OTH...Thank you so much for mowing the lawn. It looks great! And nobody even had to ask you to do it. You're a great kid, even though you have a dad who apparently is too wound up in his own crap to see that you did a good thing. You're the best! :-)
spartans 0
Tell him that you did him a favor. Mowing a lawns different ways each time will actually make it healthier.
soccergirl15_fml 0
Hey. My dad does the same thing. Then again we only have an acre. Sucks for you. Sorryyyy.
Mr_Fat_John 0
WOW your dad is such an ass...
fightinchicken26 0
YDI, it's pretty obvious to mow a lawn in horizontal lines.
Slackness 10
Simple answer is to use weed killer to give your pedantic father back his stripes in his preferred direction. Although having said that, I did concur with the suggestion of the respondent (#6) suggesting a giant penis, this could be achieved by sowing a different grass alongside the existing grass. No matter what daddy does he will always have that gift that keeps giving (short of digging the whole **** up and re-turfing). Also, remember Google earth is your friend!! :)