Today, I wanted to surprise my roommate by picking her up from class with her dog. Her dog decided to surprise me by dumping a load on my passenger seat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML
Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML
Today, my dog pooped. In my lap. While I was driving. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML
Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, I walked into my apartment happy to see my dog. Instead of running to greet me, he ran straight past me to jump into the arms of my roommate, who had just walked in behind me. He wagged his tail like crazy while I stood there, rejected. FML
Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML
Today, my asshole of a roommate finally decided to move out. Not only did he take his belongings with him, he took some of mine as well. Including my dog. FML
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Top comments
PennyLane27 32
Step 1) walk dog...to see if it needs to shit Step 2) put dog in car
RobinGoodfellow 47
I love that dog-shit air freshener.
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Comments (37)
Kingratdaddy 16
That must've been a "shitty" situation. *Badumm tsss*
martin_dustinc 8
You must be new here
AnalAssassin1 14
That one guy...
Fern_Gully 20
Don't ever be *that* guy again...
livingmylife18 14
Well, shit.
coming back in the future 30
Well thats a shifty situation.
Morning_fml 22
You're trying too hard, you don't even know if OP drives a manual.
RobinGoodfellow 47
I love that dog-shit air freshener.
PenguinBitch 44
Dog: Aint no way she's calling shot-gun.
Morning_fml 22
Aint no way she's sitting in that car with that dog turd either lol.
ItsAlly 20
Time to find other ways to surprise your roommate.
olpally 33
That's what you get for bringing a dog in a car. Good luck cleaning that up.
olpally 33
You're lucky.
sullivankeara 25
Just getting the seat warmed up for its owner.
deathcreep25 14
Why are people putting ydi?
xwingtwo 15
Because he's a DA and does deserve it!
FiFiLovee 26
District Attorney? XD
Adeptus_Astartes 22
Drug Addict?
xwingtwo 15
So would I get more up votes if I spelled out a Dumb Ass?
PennyLane27 32
Step 1) walk dog...to see if it needs to shit Step 2) put dog in car
Brandi_Faith 34
There's also the possibility that he did walk the dog first and the dog didn't go. Whether it didn't have to at the time of the walk, it was too anxious to get in the car that it didn't want to go, or it ended up crapping out of fear/anxiety if it doesn't like car rides. Not a ydi in my opinion.