Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Today, I mowed our lawn without being asked. My sister wouldn't stop yelling at me for not checking with her, because she wanted the grass to get long enough to "play jungle" in. My mom sided with her. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML
Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML
Today, I found out my dad gets my younger brother a Big Gulp from 7/11 every time he mows the yard. I mowed for three years straight and never got anything. FML
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Top comments
lifeislife_fml 0
Do it in spirals next time!
tarheel22893 0
For being ungrateful, you should punish him by mowing a giant penis into the yard,,, or if you want to be really mean,, you could make that original penis, label it "average", and then mow in a comparably small one and label it "Dad/his actual name" (by labeling, I mean you mow the words average and dad/his actual name below the respective penises) and then take a picture of both from the roof of your house and send them to all his know acquaintances (from an anonymous email address) and then mow the areas around them to hide your handiword
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Comments (164)
aback 5
Defoliant. Use it to spell out creative and apt phrases.
DameGreyWulf 1
Kill the lawn. There, no more vertical lines.
Fogie 0
DUUUUUDE you look kinda scary. i see you comment all the FMLs i read
rustyrox 0
a clear example of when men PMS
andelizastrin 0
I understand what you mean, some people like their lawns a certain way. However, grass grows back. He could have just been grateful that she did it at all, and then had it done the way he likes next time. Problem solved!
BigSky 5
It's good to change up the mowing from time to time. Your dad is just an ungrateful S.O.B. Sorry he doesn't appreciate your initiative.
Tenor_Sax_Man 0
That's why little girls don't mow.
GreenAlbatross 3
Divide the lawn into quadrants and mow each section in a different pattern. Then, get some defoliant and cover the whole lawn with polka-dots or plaid patterning. You can also scatter a bunch of dandelion seeds for a bit of extra pizazz and nuisance.
tipsy337 0
Get em janderson
summer66_fml 0
hahahaha im sorry but i actually laughed out loud for this one.......what's the difference between verticle & horizontal cutting???
rocksocks 0
YDI for being so pathetic that you would go mow the 2 acre lawn for no other reason then wanting a pat on the head. what are you a dog? get your own brain.
parabola 0
you should of cut a big H in the middle or even better...bring him to court and accuse him of rape