Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend threw a milkshake at a guy spinning a sign on the side of the road. The guy stormed over and dragged my friend out the car window. When I jumped out to help, I'd forgotten to put my car in park, and it rolled across the street and hit a ditch. Then the sign spinner kicked both our asses. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was at a friend’s birthday party. I slipped and fell onto the table of presents, knocking each one of them over, pulling a muscle in the process. My friend bitched me out for not being careful and “ruining” his presents. I got kicked out. FML
Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML
Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML
Today, I bumped into a guy I bullied for years at a bar. He was actually cool and laughed about it, but my stupid drunk ass kept urging him to hit me because I felt bad about it. We went outside and he thrashed me. At least we're friends now, I guess… FML
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house to celebrate her birthday but 3 of them ganged up on me and molested my arse cheeks. Later, someone found a wooden plank and spanked me hard. There was also a BB gun and my arse was the target. I have been a social outcast all my life, and these are my only friends, but I'm always hit. FML
Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML
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Top comments
OysterPearls 33
You should feel like an asshole, are you in sixth grade? I didn't know then"kick me" gag was still existent.
_FML_Austin_ 12
Were you not expecting some one to kick him? F that random guys life, not yours...
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Comments (91)
soulreaper12296 28
You shouldn't. Even though it is your fault that it happened, the guy shouldn't have kicked him in the first place.
jjones0818 12
Ya not really sure why everyone is ass hole this and ass hole that. If the idiot hadn't kicked him, he wouldn't have gotten beat. Really kind of funny, though I wouldn't have removed the sign.
ceelos97 16
A kick me sign? Really? Can you be anymore original?
chukacua 2
The dude that kicked his friend deserved it.
sugarmonster42 7
Why would you even..?
DarkRealmGolem 9
is it bad that I found this hilarious?
eatandobey 6
You should feel guilty and so should the guy who kicked him! ... And so should I because I laughed more at this post than most of others I've read this month!
WMFG16 14
You shouldn't have done that, BUT you did not force that random guy to kick him. obviously your friend didn't do it to himself, so the random guy is also at fault along with you.
Realhomesley 5
Stranger should've known it was a joke
SamanthaThe1st 23
You are most certainly an asshole, but I'm glad to see that your friend actually defends himself rather than just take it lying down