Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend threw a milkshake at a guy spinning a sign on the side of the road. The guy stormed over and dragged my friend out the car window. When I jumped out to help, I'd forgotten to put my car in park, and it rolled across the street and hit a ditch. Then the sign spinner kicked both our asses. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was at a friend’s birthday party. I slipped and fell onto the table of presents, knocking each one of them over, pulling a muscle in the process. My friend bitched me out for not being careful and “ruining” his presents. I got kicked out. FML
Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML
Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML
Today, I bumped into a guy I bullied for years at a bar. He was actually cool and laughed about it, but my stupid drunk ass kept urging him to hit me because I felt bad about it. We went outside and he thrashed me. At least we're friends now, I guess… FML
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house to celebrate her birthday but 3 of them ganged up on me and molested my arse cheeks. Later, someone found a wooden plank and spanked me hard. There was also a BB gun and my arse was the target. I have been a social outcast all my life, and these are my only friends, but I'm always hit. FML
Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML
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Top comments
OysterPearls 33
You should feel like an asshole, are you in sixth grade? I didn't know then"kick me" gag was still existent.
_FML_Austin_ 12
Were you not expecting some one to kick him? F that random guys life, not yours...
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Comments (91)
OysterPearls 33
You should feel like an asshole, are you in sixth grade? I didn't know then"kick me" gag was still existent.
XxDevilxXGt 26
To be honest, I side with OP. Even though it's a lame joke, what grown up person actually kicks a random stranger because a piece of paper says so? That guy deserved it. I doubt OP actually expected that kind of idiocy, and if it was around friends it would have end up in laughter if they gave some playful kicks. There's nothing wrong with a little bit of childish games among friends. Who in their right mind kicks a stranger?
gracehi 33
That's what I was thinking, 28. Who knew people that stupid could also be literate?
Zebediabolical 45
I'd side with OP if he'd broken up the fight and owned up to his prank. Instead he let his friend beat the shit out of a stranger for no real reason. And went out of his way to conceal the evidence. OP's a ****. Period.
BlockOfRedStone 25
In 3rd grade, I put a kick me sign on a friend's back once. Obviously a Third grader's kick doesn't hurt for shit, but I still got in big trouble for putting that sign on his back. A more appropriate sign to put on a friend's back, if any at all, would be "Slap my butt!" That would provide a lot more humor, and shouldn't get anyone hurt. And if your friend does try to beat the shit out of that stranger, then you should intervene.
SweetasCandy0609 28
#35 So are you saying that if some stranger came up behind you and slapped your butt that you wouldn't be offended and pissed off? and if OP wouldn't stop his friend this time while he was beating up some stranger then why would he stop him from beating up another random person who this time slapped his butt? I think OP should just stay away from putting any signs on people's back.
flee2321 10
#31 took the words out of my mouth. You should have owned up to it. Heck, if you had maybe this could have been a funny story down the road.
citygirl28 11
Yes 35 - OP why didn't you intervene??? Who can stand back and watch a friend beat the sh*t out of someone without stepping in, especially when you were the cause of confusion? Cowardly, weak, lazy, assh*le?
_FML_Austin_ 12
Were you not expecting some one to kick him? F that random guys life, not yours...
tygerarmy 35
Exactly, when you put a "Kick me" sign on a friend, you are expecting them to be kicked. You should be surrounded by close friends, and you should kick your friend first. Or your whole group kicks the friend a bit. Then they try to place a sign on you etc, everybody laughs, no one is hurt.
badluckalex 23
the asshole deserves to have the shit beat out of him for kicking a random stranger in the first place!
1tsmenoah 20
Today, I got beat up by a stranger because of somebody's stupid kick me sign. FML.
Brandi_Faith 34
21, kicking the guy was a horrible thing to do, but part of me wonders if it was a light tap on the butt. If so, I don't think he deserved to get the crap beaten out of him, maybe just a yelling to or a light punch. However if it was an actual hard kick then I'm glad he got the crap beaten out of him!
brenton490 19
So I guess the guy got no final words before his ass kicking.
TanzWolf 26
I thought those signs were only in movies. YDI.
ChristianH39 30
Well usually it's only in movies and 3rd grade
Zebediabolical 45
You deserve it. And I think you'd have deserved it more if he'd found the sign and kicked the shit out of you too.
ExtremeEncounter 32
Any stranger willing to kick someone because of a sign deserves to get the shit beat out of them. It's the equivalent of telling someone to jump off a bridge for money and they actually do it. It's not OP's fault, and you people should realize this.
Flowtastic 16
Man up and fess up and apologize to your friend AND the random guy.
Brandi_Faith 34
The random guy doesn't deserve to be apologized to, he shouldn't have kicked the guy in the first place. If there's a "kick me" sign on someone's back, they obviously don't know about it and aren't a willing participant of the joke. Kicking the guy was a dick move and he should be the one apologizing.
Flowtastic 16
The random guy doesn't deserve an apology by the guy who kicked his ass no, but he deserves one from the friend who put the note there in the first place. And I use the term friend loosely.
ExtremeEncounter 32
No, he still doesn't deserve an apology from anyone. Only a moron would actually take a sign like that seriously.
oreoeater 21
That's us the most selfish FML I've ever seen, actually no I've seen worse, but still YDI
Dave_Davington 34
Maybe you can make it up to him with a "Give me money" sign?
iLike2Teabag 27
That would only subject his friend to ridicule from people who think he's homeless. Nobody would give him any money.
False_Stupidity 42
Or throw quarters at him, really hard.
vairyhagina 11
Pretty sure an FML was posted recently involving a quarter and a broken windscreen
vipirius 18
Doing something stupid and douchey "for fun" is a surefire way to get a YDI vote from me.
vividpictures 17
I wouldn't necessarily call it "douchey", just childish and immature.
Mads_1234 28
I'd call it douchey.
Danne696 14
You didn't perhaps think it would be prudent to intervene when he started beating the shit out of him?
afkwarrior 25
You are one cowardly, cowardly bastard. Go sit on the bloody naughty step you absolute child.
Misicgal666 8
Hehehe. Also I dunno why, but.. I read that in a very posh "British" accent...