Today, I started my first day at a job. First thing my manager does is ask me if I knew the fastest way to kill someone there, then told me with a straight face all of what would occur when dumping a person's head into the deep fryer. Then the psycho assigned me to the fry station. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my third day at work and the hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML
Today, I was fired from my job because I would "scare" the customers. Two days ago, a coworker spilled fry oil onto the grill, causing flames to singe my eyebrows and the front of my hair off. FML
Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around a corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced himself to me as the head manager. FML
Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML
Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML
Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML
Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died" right afterwards. FML
Today, I was working at a local restaurant when another server's table called me over to ask if I've "ever killed anybody". They informed me I looked like a serial killer. I informed them, of course, that I have never killed anybody. Another customer claimed I scared her child. I was fired. FML
Today, I had to take out the grease traps from our fryers. A very rude co-worker cut me off, so I had to abruptly stop and try to prevent as much spilling as possible. Luckily, it only spilled on me. I'm here for six more hours with burned, smelly, greasy spots all over my skin and clothes. FML
Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Due to some clerical error, the world's top assassin was assigned to manage a fast food joint. Meanwhile, in a blacklisted government facility, the person who would've been your manager is faking their way through interrogating a detained criminal. "Don't make me get the hairnet out, you scum! When I'm done with you, there won't be a meal happy enough to console you!"
shandu7 10
Seems like he might have a good sense of humor and enjoys messing with people. Give it a chance.
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Comments (55)
Angeuh_fml 21
Run. Fast !
Hamden824 23
I'd get out of there as soon as possible OP.
JanaTheWolf 16
Or maybe, just maybe your manager has a weird sense of humour? Don't take things too seriously. Really. Has anybody died from having their head deep fryed on your workplace? No? There you have it.
XPhoenixFire 17
Yet...
LyricaSilvan 30
Man, the hazing rituals for new employees are getting intense. In all seriousness, I would consider leaving that job. I know work can be hard to find these days, but it's not worth risking your safety or making yourself work in an environment that makes you feel threatened.
r83839 22
Dude. It's a joke. As someone with a morbid sense of humor, and as an ex-supervisor, I find this a hilarious way of making sure the new guy doesn't get too cocky.
LyricaSilvan 30
I understand morbid humor, but to me, this is going a bit too far. Call me weird, but it would make me uncomfortable.
IAmYourQueen 4
Why do you think the job was open?
l3b4s1 8
Hes probably just messing with you lol probably...
Calingaladha 21
I bet after a bit of working there, your nerves will be fried...amongst other parts.
donavin118 3
no thats ******* hilarious
cacheson 42
Maybe that's his "humorous" way of warning you not to fall in by accident...
MediocreMan19 18
Get busy living, or get busy frying