Today, I started my first day at a job. First thing my manager does is ask me if I knew the fastest way to kill someone there, then told me with a straight face all of what would occur when dumping a person's head into the deep fryer. Then the psycho assigned me to the fry station. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my third day at work and the hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML
Today, I was fired from my job because I would "scare" the customers. Two days ago, a coworker spilled fry oil onto the grill, causing flames to singe my eyebrows and the front of my hair off. FML
Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around a corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced himself to me as the head manager. FML
Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML
Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML
Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML
Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died" right afterwards. FML
Today, I was working at a local restaurant when another server's table called me over to ask if I've "ever killed anybody". They informed me I looked like a serial killer. I informed them, of course, that I have never killed anybody. Another customer claimed I scared her child. I was fired. FML
Today, I had to take out the grease traps from our fryers. A very rude co-worker cut me off, so I had to abruptly stop and try to prevent as much spilling as possible. Luckily, it only spilled on me. I'm here for six more hours with burned, smelly, greasy spots all over my skin and clothes. FML
Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Due to some clerical error, the world's top assassin was assigned to manage a fast food joint. Meanwhile, in a blacklisted government facility, the person who would've been your manager is faking their way through interrogating a detained criminal. "Don't make me get the hairnet out, you scum! When I'm done with you, there won't be a meal happy enough to console you!"
shandu7 10
Seems like he might have a good sense of humor and enjoys messing with people. Give it a chance.
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Comments (55)
Lizzy500 16
Several years ago, there was a guy here who owned a restaurant, killed his wife, and deep fried her head. Police found it in a box, and another 80 lbs worth of her body in the restaurant.
DamnGina 3
I would quit. That's not okay to say to anyone, especially a new employee. He may not kill you, but this sets the atmosphere of your future working days here. I'd leave immediately.
PackardBell_fml 19
Human Resources?
parkhouse63 11
What kind of boss asks that type of question he needs psychiatric help
JosephKorso 15
I think I know what he was doing. He was trying to instill respect of the deep fryer into you. Probably had a lot of people doing dangerous things with the deep fryer stuff, and needed to find a way to get them to stop. Still, FYL, since that's scary as all hell.
straymondar 10
Don't sweat it OP. It's just traditional "first day hazing". I been there more times that I can count. He was just messing with you.
tiacat11 3
To be fair, we like to haze the newbies at our work too. It's all fun and games, and we're actually a supportive bunch. I'm sure this is what happened here too.
thedebater1 3
Whimper........
RosaMaravillosa 10
Run! Far and fast!
SomeshCD 14
Kick sum asss!