Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the whole time and never responded, except for a few times to say "Ouch." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, my wife and I were having amazing make up sex after several months of painful separation. Halfway through, she screamed for me to stop, climbed off the bed, and ran into the bathroom. She spent an hour screaming and crying, then came out and emotionlessly told me to leave. FML
Today, my wife spent the entire evening grabbing my crotch, whispering dirty things to me, and telling me how horny she was, right up until the kids went to bed. Then, it was, "Baby, I just want cuddles, I don't feel like sex" and pouting. This happens at least three times a week. FML
Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, I woke up with a raging hard on. My wife, who was also awake, felt it when I pressed against her. She said, "No thank you," got up, and walked away. FML
Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML
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Top comments
truthishly 0
maybe u should have stopped?! you know since she was saying "ouch" maybe u should have checked to make sure she was okay?!
justsayfuck 5
Guess she was too tired for faking.
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Comments (90)
jrezo757 0
that's why I will never get married this should be on the marriage papers when you have to sign them
Miolene 6
Ok for all you people saying he raped his wife, that is really wrong and uncalled for. If his wife didn't want to have sex she just needed to say, communication seems to be an issue in this marriage. Clearly the reason it was hurting was because she wasn't in the mood and therefore she either needed to tell him this, stop, or have some foreplay instead of jumping right in there. If I had been him I would have stopped as soon as she started saying ouch, just purely because I could tell she was not enjoying it and that would be a huge turn off.
Jonscarl 0
not much love in that relation ship is therr
iHateThisLife 10
time to spice ur romance again.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Not everyone likes surprise buttsex. The more you know...
GreatMelinko 0
lmao!
s8n666 0
Ouch? Are you sure you are putting it in the right spot?
ilovefall10 21
okay i can only think of 3 things 1. you're wife was to focus on trying to keep quiet so you're kids won't hear you.. 2. maybe she was tired and give out from everything and just wasn't in the mood. 3. .. you need to work on you're skills.
mnm5671 0
maybe you suck at sex
tnlander 20
she didn't perform for OP because I had already worn her out. He got bone dry seconds.
skyeyez9 25
The biggest turn in for alot of busy moms is to share the workload with the kids. Give the kiddos a bath and get them to bed without having to be asked for help. Take the kids with you outside to play while your wife gets a moment aone to rest. Little things like that help ALOT. Your wife may be exhausted from caring for your kids all day.