Today, I spent the first night in my new home as a first-time homeowner. I was relaxing and enjoying the feeling of having my own space when I reached over to get my glasses and came back with a cockroach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML
Today, I found a New Year's surprise: a cockroach in my kitchen drawers. FML
Today, I turned on my A/C for the first time in a couple of months. A family of ginormous cockroaches climbed out of the air vent and a few clumps of dead cockroaches fell to the ground. FML
Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML
Today, my pregnant girlfriend and I moved into our first home together, signing a 1-year lease. Less than 12 hours later, we've discovered that the place is infested with cockroaches and we have a mouse. The landlord won't let us out of the contract. FML
Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
Today, while I was standing in the elevator with a few people I just met when I moved in yesterday, I felt something fall on my hair and dusted it off. It was a cockroach. None of them will come within a 1m distance to me now, because they all think I've got lice. Welcome to the building! FML
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Top comments
Lalala579121 28
Just think, that's not just any cockroach. That's YOUR cockroach.
GlennGuagmire 20
Divorce the cockroach and the house will be all yours.
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Comments (25)
RavenousRiley 2
You thought a cockroach felt the same as a pair of glasses?
Bearsmomma 30
I was thinking something similar.
Jared900DUmpling 30
Well, you already made a new friend! Off to a great start already!
shanson 22
Demon insecticide is extremely effective and non toxic to pets and humans once it dries. Roaches are extremely common in my area but we don't get any in the house because of this
Moerighan 23
At least you didn't have black mould?
samlovesham1234 9
Burn the house down!!!
914smv 18
ahhh!!! fumigate!!
Levvy 22
Annoying and gross to be sure, but not insurmountable. You'll get it handled. Congrats on your new home!
MitiMiki 16
Welcome to home ownership!