Today, I spent six hours making chicken and black bean chili for a big family gathering. I go to use the restroom. I come back to the pot on the floor with my cat standing in the chili, eating it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I made a pot of chili. My wife came home, sniffed the air, and said, "You're sleeping in the guest room until you eat all that chili. You fart like a trucker and I can't sleep." FML
Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML
Today, I was making a nacho and grabbed some refried beans that were in a plastic container out of the fridge and put them on top of the chips. After I’m completely done eating my mom looks in the fridge and asked me if I knew where the cat food was. I just ate a small can of cat food. FML
Today, getting tired of my usual turkey/tuna salad/chicken sandwiches, I made a pot of soup to take to work for lunch. My girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night to forage for snacks, spilled it all over the floor, and woke me up to clean it. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
Today, I went to make chilli and instead of just using 3 cups of water like the recipe called for, I ended up using 3 quarts somehow. Now I have a pot of hot and spicy meat water. FML
Today, I lovingly simmered a chicken carcass, vegetables and spices to make soup. Two hours it took. After all that, I mindlessly strained out the chicken bones and let the soup pour straight down the sink. FML
Today, after a week of working 18-hour days, I finally sat down to eat more than a sandwich. Unfortunately my kitchen has become a mess and I bypassed the clean bowl I'd put on the counter and ate my ice cream out of the cat's dirty food bowl. FML
Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML
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Top comments
danpaddy 7
I think the replacement will be a cat and black bean chilli. FYL op.
irwingiggles 26
And that's why I always locked up my cat in the living room while cooking. I hope for you that the family gathering wasn't ruined
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Comments (57)
mizutama 3
true story, i know what you talking about ;]
noparlpf 13
Assuming there's onion, garlic, and/or peppers in there, I hope your cat is okay.
speakthylove 11
I'm more concerned with the fact that the kitty might have been burned. If that chili was hot it would burn the crap out of him/her!
sunkissedevil 17
serve it anyways
kirby1964 20
Hey, it will be a great story at the family gathering. One that will get retold and changed for years to come.
Bluepies 24
Chicken? Bean? Chili??? What is this blasphemy?!? - a Texan
Bi_ShrDiWun 10
Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful. lol - Amen, my Texas friend! Sheldon Cooper would be having a fit right now...
Queen_of_Night 20
Excuse me fellow Texans, there are chicken chilis, I make a white chicken chili myself and beans are always welcome. :P
ohSNAPyall 27
Pizza party!
hoosiergirl94 31
Lids are a good solution
HeavyWeaponsGuy 21
Ask yourself again, what cat?
Brian2911 23
I read that as children and black bean chili he first time. Good thing I re-read that
xx000o 27
Today I spent another six hours making mystery meat and black bean chili for a large family gathering.