Today, I spent six hours making chicken and black bean chili for a big family gathering. I go to use the restroom. I come back to the pot on the floor with my cat standing in the chili, eating it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I made a pot of chili. My wife came home, sniffed the air, and said, "You're sleeping in the guest room until you eat all that chili. You fart like a trucker and I can't sleep." FML
Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML
Today, I was making a nacho and grabbed some refried beans that were in a plastic container out of the fridge and put them on top of the chips. After I’m completely done eating my mom looks in the fridge and asked me if I knew where the cat food was. I just ate a small can of cat food. FML
Today, getting tired of my usual turkey/tuna salad/chicken sandwiches, I made a pot of soup to take to work for lunch. My girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night to forage for snacks, spilled it all over the floor, and woke me up to clean it. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
Today, I went to make chilli and instead of just using 3 cups of water like the recipe called for, I ended up using 3 quarts somehow. Now I have a pot of hot and spicy meat water. FML
Today, I lovingly simmered a chicken carcass, vegetables and spices to make soup. Two hours it took. After all that, I mindlessly strained out the chicken bones and let the soup pour straight down the sink. FML
Today, after a week of working 18-hour days, I finally sat down to eat more than a sandwich. Unfortunately my kitchen has become a mess and I bypassed the clean bowl I'd put on the counter and ate my ice cream out of the cat's dirty food bowl. FML
Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML
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Top comments
danpaddy 7
I think the replacement will be a cat and black bean chilli. FYL op.
irwingiggles 26
And that's why I always locked up my cat in the living room while cooking. I hope for you that the family gathering wasn't ruined
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Comments (57)
SaturnCheese 5
I read 'chicken' as 'children' at first and was pretty horrified for a solid five seconds.
FitFriday 32
Well, at least you know it tastes good
Ayasha_fml 12
Probably got burned and received Karma for being an asshole.....It'll think twice around pots next time. They're at least smart enough to associate bad things with events. I'm sure it gets plenty of food yet steals. No recognition of hierarchy.
PandaBeer 15
Lids are a wonderful thing
ewwvtec 9
Cats: not even once
myabeth 11
HAHA cats.
DanielleinDC 34
Cats are like that. My boyfriend will buy bagels for when he stays over on the weekend, and I have to put it in the toaster oven to keep my cat from ripping it apart. A few years ago he bought a muffin and left it on the table overnight. My cat ate a third of it while we were sleeping. Not a lot you can do to prevent a cat from getting into a pot of chili on the stove, especially if it's still cooking when you use the facilities.