Today, I spent several hours downtown with my violent grandma, after she was arrested for threatening a guy with a gun. His crime? "Trespassing" by ringing the doorbell and asking if she was interested in donating to charity. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML
Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML
Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
Today, I came home from work to find my grandmother in my living room, demanding to know where I'd been all day. I'm 22 and live by myself. She stole my mother's emergency key to get in. FML
Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as, "Some weirdo had walked into her house." I'm that weirdo; she wasn't joking. FML
Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML
Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML
Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
Well in her defence, these charity organisation names are sounding like malicious and/or terrorist organisations, I mean UNICEF, WWF, PETA! Wake up people...
dingostacy 14
Imagine what happens to the Jehovah's witnesses....
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Comments (79)
TheGriizlyBear 22
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast.
botanistjessica 24
I have no idea how this relates to Alzheimer's. More like turrets.
sterling1113 15
I have no idea how this is related to turrets, more like Tourette's.
mustang_92 9
I think 12's poem was referring to how Alzheimer's patients can sometimes forget what they were saying mid-sentence.
botanistjessica 24
I knew it looked wrong. No lame excuses, I just had a lapse of brain cell usage and forgot how to spell.
91hayek 31
better get your head checked for turrets :P
blancoing 14
"I'll donate a cap in yo ass! "
loveseat14 11
Awesome gma
raspution 21
Can I borrow her.
cakefete2 31
Why don't you ring her door bell and ask?
ilast4eva 2
Lmmfao Grandma Dont Play No Games.
wysegirl 24
Sounds like my grandma. Cool at least she can defend herself.
Futacy 30
...Or just end up murdering someone
Avenator5 6
Grandma takes no prisoners!
ZorroRooster 19
Well, thats one way to deal with door to door solicitations. Word gets around that there's some crazy old lady with a gun threatening passers-by, and the only ones crazy enough to still ring the bell after that would be Jehovah's witnesses. And really, not sure if one or two of them would be all that missed.
I_Am_Melanie 15
Is your grandma Madea?
Danny_Boy12 13
She needs to calm her ****