Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my grandma calls me, accusing me of theft. I was home all day and watching Orange Is The New Black. When I asked what I stole, she said her car keys. I don’t even have my license. I told her to look in her purse. She found them. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my grandmother in my living room, demanding to know where I'd been all day. I'm 22 and live by myself. She stole my mother's emergency key to get in. FML
Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML
Gamba streams ruin lives
Today, I found out my mother-in-law sold a precious family heirloom and gambled away the money. FML
Today, I went to Walmart with all my birthday money, which I had in a wallet with my permit and everything else. I was sat on a bench looking for items for my iPod Touch However… I left my wallet behind. Turns out an old couple stole it. I got my shit jacked by grandparents. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Busted
Today, I was relaxing on the couch after a long day with my annoying aunt when I heard my sister come in from the garage. I loudly asked, "Do you think Aunt Stacy knows everybody doesn't like her?" It wasn't my sister. It was my aunt returning my purse I had left in her car. FML
Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML
Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML
Today, at work, an old lady came through my line to buy some groceries. She told me she lost her purse and was a little short. It was busy, so I pulled out my little purse and gave her the money she needed. A few minutes later she returned with my boss, insisting that my purse was hers. FML
Top comments
littlehollycocks 0
Smooth haggler.
katymack 11
After a certain age, the filter comes off and grandparents seem to do whatever they want.
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Comments (91)
littlehollycocks 0
Smooth haggler.
DobGriffen 8
Or Bad Luck Brooklyn?
oj101 33
I literally just moderated this FML!
oj101 33
OMG, I just moderated this FML. However, it should be the grandma giving you all the stuff, and not stealing from you. FYL.
MDTeddy 13
I don't smoke, but go to that bitch's house and take your stuff back. Also, don't let people touch your stuff if you aren't that comfortable around them.
LiterOfCola 16
I weigh 165 pounds and agree with your comment 65.
livhart 4
That's funny and terrible in equal measures I'm afraid!
Zedd_fml 8
Maybe she was trying to convey a message, no cigarettes, and no cash to buy them.
preps87 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You deserve it for smoking.
mfischer 17
People don't deserve to be constantly miserable for smoking. They deserve a host of medical problems and to constantly smell like an ashtray, but they don't deserve a bunch of evil shit pervading their lives.
bonsaiboy26 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ok I don't smoke, but preps 87 that's out of line. Perhaps someone should tell you that u deserve to be treated like shit for all your life because your a tool who makes negative comments towards others to try and sound cool. Moron.
DobGriffen 8
And how does one deserve to be robbed for smoking, oh wise one?
mfischer 17
16 - You realise that its hilariously ironic that you're insulting someone to tell them not to insult people, right?
bonsaiboy26 1
I get the irony however... I'm not saying I don't deserve it lol. Serious note though I just made a scenario not an actual statement. Good call though.
Pleonasm 36
20- What do you expect coming from someone who says "your a tool" ?
preps87 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
First off, it's his grandmother. I'm sure he isn't constantly treated like crap because of his smoking, and if he is, I am legitimately sorry. But the bottom line is, if he didn't have cigarettes to steal, granny wouldn't have stolen his cigarettes.
bonsaiboy26 1
And the money friend?
mfischer 17
I'm not defending smoking, but you realise that granny probably stole those cigarettes to smoke them, right? When you're raised by smokers, it's easy to become a smoker. Secondly, OP is most likely female, since the cigarettes in question were taken from their purse.
Pleonasm 36
25- Whaaaaaaaaat? That's a lame-ass excuse. It's like saying if X didn't have a handbag, she wouldn't have been mugged. It's not her fault. Point is if she smokes, it's her decision and she shouldn't get any crap about, she's aware of the implications and decides to continue, ok that's her problem not ours. Added to the fact that cigs= cash + enjoyment you paid for that you aren't getting, so, yes it does suck to have them stolen.
bonsaiboy26 1
Lol that is true.
preps87 0
Not deserved, I'll admit.
onlychildFTW 34
People can smoke all they want. It's their choice to kill themselves with it. It's only a problem when nonsmokers have to walk through a cloud of smoke to get in a building.
reapy 14
I do love these knee jerk reactions! Anything that involves a cigarette is an instant YDI, regardless of anything else that might happen in the FML.
Jaxx66 21
I'm with 29 on this (I can't remember his name) but you remind me of that republican who said 'if she got pregnant from rape, she wanted it because women's bodies wouldnt let it happen otherwise'.... I smoke, and I keep away from buildings and other non smokers. I doubt they'll find me by the trash can. So no, not anyone deserves to have things stolen just because of a bad habit. I'm sure you drink, so you deserve your alcohol to be stolen during a mugging. But remember; if you didn't have it, it wouldnt of been there to steal in the first place. Or your phone, car keys, wallet...
Lucia_Malpense 14
Except a phone, etc doesn't give you horrible health and breath. If I don't drink either, can I continue to belittle OP for smoking?
DobGriffen 8
Have fun explaining THAT to your parents..
domking1315 20
First of all why would she have to explain it to her parents and second of all it was a family dinner. They were probably there.
katymack 11
After a certain age, the filter comes off and grandparents seem to do whatever they want.
onlychildFTW 34
It's okay, their old.
Grimmerie 31
Their old what? Finish the sentence, the suspense is killing me!
LiterOfCola 16
5: no pun intended?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
51- Their old school tricks are simply awesome.
TheOneTC 8
Gotta love a klepto Grandma
anzie_fml 9
Grannies are pernonin' Noobs! And apparently pernonin' smoking granddaughters too... No one is safe from those kinds of grannies D:
TheMathMajor 26
I MADE THIS FOR YOU! :D
spaboolly 26
Should have taken her up on the offer to buy the purse I guess.
krissybabe88 7
Probably with the stolen money
CaptNomNom 17
And thinking it was your own grandmother...
RainbowDashie140 12
Grandmas are also known as the ninjas that smell like soap.
CaptNomNom 17
But no one smells ninja. That's why they're ninjas........
Orioh 8
Maybe she took the cigs' to prevent her from smoking? that shit kills dude.
Jmotore 3
Grandma more like theifma. Hahahahahaha
SusanBieber 10
Clever. How long did it take you to think of that one?
nop200 3
Words cannot describe how horrible this pathetic attempt at a pun is.
Jmotore 3
B
woainishamu 21
I thought grandmas were supposed to be loving to their grandchildren. Guess not
Jaxx66 21
No no. All grandparents in the FML community are trolls, it's a well known fact. To be honest, I'd go visit with a gift wrapped old purse of mine then 'have to use the restroom' before she opens it and get my money back.