Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to explain to my son that a 10.5lb baby can’t be born after only 6 months of pregnancy, and when he didn’t get that massive hint, I had to outright tell him his girlfriend must've already been 3 months pregnant when they met, and lied to him. I’ve raised an idiot. FML
Today, I found out my husband has been telling everyone he doesn't want a baby. He has been telling me he does. We have been trying for months. I'm now pregnant and confused. FML
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I explained to my boyfriend that I want to get my tubes tied, because I don’t want kids and can’t stand the fear of getting pregnant by accident, despite contraception, which has happened before. He summarized: “So, the main point is to preserve your fertility, right?” Wrong. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. Instead of being happy, he freaked out, then told me I was trying to "trap" him. We've been together for 12 years, and trying for 3. FML
Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I moved out a few years ago, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML
Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML
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Top comments
kinky44 28
Everyone knows genitals don't work until you get a marriage license and the state activates them.
PickledSweets 22
Oh, how I fear for the future of America.
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Comments (145)
justtheotherguy 12
huh.. what ? How is that even possible ?
nirmalsundhar 11
however he'll get to know someday...
foxwasalamb 24
obviously a virgin
cryssycakesx3 23
nah.
FMLL2016 16
Good his parents taught him well
askullnamedbilly 33
It's really worrying that apparently you can get into college in America without even once being taught about the birds and the bees during your school career. How come mathematical theorems somehow rank above having a basic understanding of our reproductive systems?
siggy_mcsigx 22
$100 says he was homeschooled.
skyeyez9 25
Homeschooled kids are actually smarter vs traditionally schooled kids at least that is what the research says. They are very book smart and should know about the reproductive system and how it works. Although they and I know this is a stereotype, are social weirdos. I met three families whose kids were homeschooled. All of them were brilliant and knew alot of things. But interacting with people outside their small social circle was painful to watch. Book smarts and social intelligence are two separate entities.
skyeyez9 25
I wish I was homeschooled and got the one on one education vs being warehoused in a private school every day 8hrs a day, for 12yrs. I was an outcast anyways so being a "social weirdo" homeschooler would not have damaged me. I would have graduated with a better education and not have to worry about the senator's douchebag son who always bullied me everyday at school for 6yrs, and got away with it his cause of his family's political connections.
JazNim17 18
Not all homeschool kids do better than regular school kids. It depends on the parents and how well they can school their kids. I know a girl who was homeschooled, she's now in college at 16. But she's the only success story I personally know. I also know a guy who was homeschooled and still can't read (he's 18) and another guy who didn't get the social outlets he needed when homeschooled. He's very bright, but he can barely manage to work up the nerve to talk to anyone besides his parents and sister (he's 22). So keep in mind, not everyone has the same experience as you.
alphabcapa 1
Does being 15 years old count as a college student? #Me
rocker_chick23 27
Even at 15, you should know how babies are made. We had sex ed in middle school.
Driving_Gaming 22
I had it in Year 7 (7th grade).
tabbydionysis 18
Was this in Utah by chance?
neverready 25
I think it would be a nice thing, if nature could do that :D No wedding ring, no pregnancy :) Would solve many problems.
MartinDJ 26
Even at college you don't have to be smart!