Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to explain to my son that a 10.5lb baby can’t be born after only 6 months of pregnancy, and when he didn’t get that massive hint, I had to outright tell him his girlfriend must've already been 3 months pregnant when they met, and lied to him. I’ve raised an idiot. FML
Today, I found out my husband has been telling everyone he doesn't want a baby. He has been telling me he does. We have been trying for months. I'm now pregnant and confused. FML
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I explained to my boyfriend that I want to get my tubes tied, because I don’t want kids and can’t stand the fear of getting pregnant by accident, despite contraception, which has happened before. He summarized: “So, the main point is to preserve your fertility, right?” Wrong. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. Instead of being happy, he freaked out, then told me I was trying to "trap" him. We've been together for 12 years, and trying for 3. FML
Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I moved out a few years ago, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML
Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML
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Top comments
kinky44 28
Everyone knows genitals don't work until you get a marriage license and the state activates them.
PickledSweets 22
Oh, how I fear for the future of America.
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Comments (145)
MadmanOZ 10
well... someone had a sheltered childhood...
alex_gen 39
If you would read, it is implied that he does know about sex, but was raised/taught abstinence. It is likely that he is Christian, or any other religion that looks down on pre-marital sex, and as such was probably taught that marriage comes before offsprings. There's no reason to keep joking about Christianity. Just because he is abstinent, doesn't give reason to mock a religion. Would you rather have a planned pregnancy after you're married and suitable to have children, or have an unwanted child with your girlfriend of three months, who you'll probably break up with out of spite of not being ready for such a commitment? It's not a hard choice. So go ahead and downvote me. I don't care. Just trying to get some sense into this conversation, instead of the constant bagging on religion and his parents.
askullnamedbilly 33
Nothing in this FML says he's Christian and believes in abstinence. He could be screwing half the college without conception because he thinks he can't get anyone pregnant unless he marries them for all you know - simply because he was never told otherwise. Abstinence is fine, but 'abstinence only' is the single most stupid thing that the American education system has ever come up with. Everyone who's biologically capable of having a child or getting an STD needs to know EXACTLY how sex works, what the dangers are and how to do it right - because guess what, people are going to do it anyway. Not teaching young people how it works only leads to them believing in half truths and superstitions. There's still an alarmingly large group of people who honestly think the pull-out method works, for example. And since the 'abstinence only' programs do have a religious origin, I AM going to blame religion for this.
rocker_chick23 27
Well this shows abstinence only programs fail big time. Abstinence only states have the highest pregnancy rates compared to states that teach sex ed. Mississippi has the largest percentage of teen pregnancies, infant mortality and poverty. Guess what they teach? Abstinence.
kittcatt 8
Being married doesn't make you a suitable parent. A desire to have children, a strong support system of friends and family, a bank account large enough to afford the child, and a lot of love for that child are necessary.
kittcatt 8
But not necessarily marriage. You can be married and detest kids, or married and still unable to afford children. A well off single woman who goes to the sperm bank and has a ton of friends and family willing to lend a hand is going to be a more suitable parent than the married couple living hand to mouth that never wanted kids but their birth control failed.
JazNim17 18
Yes, 74, but we have a lot of idiots here in Mississippi too. And a lot of lazy bums who have babies to get a welfare check. I wouldn't blame it all on the "abstinence" policy when I personally know a woman with 8 kids who is purposefully pregnant again. I think she's figured out where they come from by now.
shanax 1
messeduplife2 7
What do they teach in school? It's ridiculous...
miss_jules 11
FHL! If he really doesn't understand. FYL if he was having you on, which i suspect.
worldclassrager 41
That's a good thing...unless he is in that situation at the moment
kernelkat 16
I hope he never procreates.
askullnamedbilly 33
With that attitude, he probably will.
Marielle_T 10
Apparently, we just need to make sure he never gets married and everything will be fine!
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Teaching him that children should be born inside wedlock, fair enough, his parents are entitled to their beliefs, but telling him that kids cannot be born outside marriage is plain disturbing.
Oliok 19
You know this could be a good thing what with all these people having kids that aren't ready.
RedPillSucks 33
Were they from Oral Roberts or Brigham Young University?
gongs99 11
It seems like a good thing to have one less person quickening the spread of teen pregnancy and stds