Today, I knocked over and broke one of two very expensive wine bottles. As I was using the mop to clean it up, the handle knocked over and broke the other. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I dropped a $400 bottle of wine while trying to get the cork out. FML
Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, at the winery, my boss proudly made a spectacle of the new, high quality bottles. After over a year of employment without breaking a bottle, I shattered three before lunch. FML
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
Today, it was my first day at work as a waitress. The day ended with me owing my employers money, after I accidentally smashed an expensive bottle of wine on the floor. FML
Today, after sweeping up a spill, I managed to break the cupboard door. With my head. FML
Today, one of the guests I was in the middle of seating knocked an empty wine glass from the table. I assured them it was all right, and kneeled down to pick up the now broken glass. The lady insisted on helping, as far as picking the glass up and dumping the shards into my open hands. FML
Today, I tried to put a drinking glass on the top rack at the dish sink where I work, but lost my grip. The glass then fell into my coworker's face, the bridge of her nose to be exact. X-rays confirmed that I broke her nose. FML
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Top comments
JJ_V3N0M 19
This when I would just say "screw this", and go to bed with a bag of Cheetos by my side.
wanted_2_want 40
It seems like you got drunk by only looking at the bottles.
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Comments (43)
JJ_V3N0M 19
This when I would just say "screw this", and go to bed with a bag of Cheetos by my side.
lex1459 38
Oh see I would probably have to move.
wanted_2_want 40
It seems like you got drunk by only looking at the bottles.
MRP360 14
That's when you use a mop drainer to recover your wine. Or at least until you realize your drinking mop water.
missyfiona89 28
*you're
Emmiii_fml 18
#14 No. He's not saying "you are wine" or "you are mop water"..
stonedfly3 15
@19. You're correct. But he is saying "you are drinking"
JMichael 26
But nice try 19!
enginsteve 17
That's why I don't clean..
EvilTurtle 35
You don't clean because you're afraid that you'll break expensive wine bottles?
wyverntail 15
That's not why you don't clean and you know it.
enginsteve 17
Maybe not, but whatever works!!
sweetest_jenn 18
This is the part where you say "**** it", break the mop, and go crawl back into bed.
missyfiona89 28
Really? "run and hide" is your solution when met with the first signs of failure? You're probably not a very productive person, aren't ya?
MedTech7989 6
You just said they were productive.
JMichael 26
13- don't you ever have those days where nothing is going right and you just want to say screw it and go back to bed? If you say no you're lying.
missyfiona89 28
No. I don't believe in running away. I'd rather face my problems right there and then.
squideth 18
You do realize #5 was just having fun, right? Not starting some pathetic debate on who can face problems better? Or do you not understand fun?
missyfiona89 28
What's fun?
Garrett2818 21
You should have made like a zamboni and slurped it up lol, we don't waste round here
dustin007 15
Sounds like some tipsy bottles to me ;)
Earths_Venus 25
Taxi!
evilamoebaattack 20
I'm sorry, but wasn't this rather clumsy on your part, especially if you knew that expensive bottles of wine were involved?
Tooorrriii3 22
I am begging you to please thumbs down this comment.