Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent 15 minutes trying to get my cat out of our seven-foot Christmas tree. Once he was done, he tore about the house and broke the nativity scene, beheading baby Jesus and a wise man in the process. The tree is fucked. FML
Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML
Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML
Today, we spent hours decorating the Christmas tree, perfectly balancing the lights, ornaments, and tinsel. Ten minutes later, the cat thought it was a right time to reenact Die Hard and climbed up the tree, knocking it over. Now my ornaments are shattered, and my cat is smugly sitting in the wreckage. FML
Today, I woke up to a horrible smell only to realize that my dog had peed all over my leg cast during the night. I can't get another one because the closest doctors are all on Christmas vacation. Guess this is an early Christmas present from my dog. FML
Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML
Today, I decorated my boyfriend's house for Christmas as a surprise, just in time for him and his family to come home. Also just in time for him to tell me he's Jewish. FML
Today, I punished my new dog for taking a shit inside by putting him in the kennel. He punished me by breaking out of the kennel and destroying everything in my house. Including Christmas presents. FML
Today, I spent hours putting together a beautifully intricate jigsaw to give to my grandmother, who likes to frame them and hang them on her wall. Just as I was about to finish it, I discovered my dog chewing the last piece. FML
Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML
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Top comments
CallMeHush 1
In three days he will return to you... where have I read that before?
Psychopauser 0
Not a FML more like a FJesusFigureLife
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Comments (114)
XxSlAyNnXx 0
thats ****** up lol, but funny
FarSide 23
What will you have back... your dog, or Jesus?
girlindie 0
I don't think that's an FML. Funny though.
zee209 0
How is this an FML? It's funny!
Mustardnight 3
YDI for being offended at that awesome joke, and for making a nativity scene in your house...
Sarcastic_Lady 0
Obviously everyone who is saying "YDI for being religious" and crap are all religious themselves. Why else would you celebrate a CHRISTIAN holiday? That is the OP's religion and this is her religion's holiday. Even if it has been commercialized, it doesn't change the fact that IS in fact a Christian holiday. So listen to yourself say "HA HA you're celibrating your religious holiday for what it was intended" and hear just how completely ignorant and stupid you sound. I'm assuming you all hate when people throw their religion in your face. So why would you assume Christians don't mind when you throw your atheism in their faces? you're all douchebags.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Don't get me wrong because I don't feel that they should be saying things like that but there are a lot of reasons people would celebrate Christmas even if they aren't Christian. It could be the fact that maybe their family celebrates it and so as to not upset the family they play along. Then again there is always the fact that Christmas is in actuality a holiday invented to convert people away from Paganism. There is no evidence that Christ was born on December 25 and in fact there is evidence to suggest that he was born in one of the earlier months (One of the Summer Months if you are going by season's in America). Which could mean that people choose to disregard the Christian views for it and go simply on the fact that it's a day when you can give and receive gifts, not have to work (if you have one of those jobs), and there is no school.
Sarcastic_Lady 0
I understand what you're saying but some of your facts are wrong. Christmas wasn't made to convert people. Christians needed a day to celibrate the birth of Jesus (and yes they all know it wasn't actually the day he was born) so they picked a pagan holiday to celibrate it on. The reason they picked that holiday is because it was already a well known holiday and wouldn't be hard to get started. I'm pretty sure it was a king that picked that day in the first place. But just b/c it wasn't the actual date Jesus was born doesn't mean it wasn't put in place to celibrate that occasion. So saying "it wasn't the actual day." doesn't really make it any less of a Christian holiday. And yeah people do play along for presents and gifts and stuff. Not all people celibrate it as a Christian holiday but they do need to respect that it is in fact a Christian holiday.
Firesprite2009 0
Christmas is a Pagan festival. I should know. My cousin/best friend never shuts up about it, but I agree with her. As she would say, "Christmas isn't a Christian festival, It was a Pagan festival, and the Christians STOLE it." &&, let's face it. She's right. :[ Sorry, but I just don't think that Christians should get all the glory and fame for this holiday, when they weren't even the original people to come up with it. xx
Fuzzysbutt 0
That was beautiful.
Fuzzysbutt 0
I'm talking about Firesprites comment by the way.
Sarcastic_Lady 0
That doesn't make it any less of a Christian holiday.
blastvortex 4
Your dog has good taste.
rotten_rel 0
um...jesus came back on easter. unless your dog is gonna give birth to him on christmas, this post is retarded
SupaSwaggin 0
lol at your name "gettingacat"