Today, I saw my cat licking something on the side of the road and went to check what it was. It was someone's old cigarette. I now know why she wants to be let out so often: She's addicted to nicotine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
Today, I think my cat is getting high. Whenever she finds her drug of choice, she sniffs it, then rolls around in it, purring ecstatically. Typical catnip reaction, right? Wrong. It’s my dirty underwear she's into. FML
Today, I realised why I’m so irritable these days. My former flatmate smoked so many cigarettes that, now he’s moved out and taken the smoke with him, I’m going through nicotine withdrawal. I realised this after I saw cigarettes in a shop and couldn’t stop staring at them. FML
Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML
Today, I found out the reason why my cat would sometimes go outside for days at a time was because when she would go out, my neighbor would lure her in with cat treats and keep her there for up to 2 days. She's an indoor cat now. FML
Today, I spent hours in town getting everything I'd need to make dinner, taking the cat to the vet, getting gardening supplies, and filling up our extra tanks with gas for the mowers. I came home, only for Mom to wordlessly plunk down an empty pack of cigarettes, and grin like a Cheshire cat, then sip her wine. FML
Today, I caught my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML
Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML
Today, I realized my cat has a foot fetish. She keeps randomly flopping over on my feet while I'm walking, and will lick my toes if I am barefooted. I have absolutely no idea where this came from, but it makes me super uncomfortable. Even my other cat looks at her like she's gone insane. FML
Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML
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Top comments
kaysheik 16
Time for an intervention.
jonny201 11
Just...how? And also, how!?
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Comments (34)
Tigris30740 2
Used cigg butts can kill cats and dogs, if she swallowed that she would most likely get nicotine poisoning. She most likely has Pica and has a fetishes for eating paper. You should consider yourself lucky she didn't start seizing. Get yourself a catio and stop letting her outside.
Desiree_lianne 16
try getting the gum?
miamackster 16
Cats are not children they are animals that depend on humans to keep them safe. Letting her outside with no leash or enclosure is not safe. Nicotine is deadly to cats not to mention FIV or cars A human child can be taught not to play in traffic or lay in the warm street, a human child can be taught not to kill the neighbours pond fish or not shit in the neighbours garden. A cat however can not be reasoned with and needs a humans protection. That's why you are the owner If you let a cat outside without a leash or in a proper outdoor enclosure You are failing your cat on so many levels. You are failing your neighbours you are failing Mother Nature and adding to a growing problem!