Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from my wedding food. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML
Today, I spent 5 hours preparing dinner for my fianc''s grandparents, whom I've never met. At dinner, his grandmother says to him, "If you're going to pick someone to spend the rest of your life with, at least make sure she can cook." I'm the executive chef at a 4 star restaurant. FML
Today, a friend invited me over for dinner. She presented me with a "gourmet" homemade meal. As I started eating, I realized it tasted… off. She looked at me expectantly, so I politely ate it all. Afterwards, she told me it was a new recipe she was trying "tuna casserole" made with canned tuna… which we found out later expired in 2015. FML
Today, I found a recipe online that looked delicious and not too complicated. Halfway through cooking, I realized I was reading the instructions for two different recipes and had combined them into one horrific dish. The resulting meal tasted like burnt cardboard mixed with regret. My girlfriend ended up ordering takeout. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I got dragged to a wedding where I knew no-one. It went on for hours, I got so hungry. We get to the meal, my wife had forgotten to order a vegetarian meal for me. I couldn't eat the main meal, due to allergies and no alternative. I then spent two more hours just waiting to go home. FML
Today, I called my mom to make sure she could attend on the wedding day my fiancé and I had discussed. She started off with criticizing the venue we considered, then went on to criticize my fiancé, and then stated she would under no circumstances help out, but demanded to pick my wedding dress. FML
Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML
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Top comments
TheDrifter 24
F your fiancée's life for having to grow up on her terrible cooking.
brittanyrmh_ 12
Julie and Julia is the equivalent to culinary school, didn't you hear?
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Comments (119)
Niamhhhh 10
Would you not have tested her food weeks before hand?
chelss22 1
Pickle barrel only needs 48 hours for notice. At least it might be better then what she is making
Knarf_fml 10
Your Fiancé didn't say anything about your future Mother In-Law not attending cooking school? Mmmhh close knit family! You can always tell how good a man is by how involved he is with his Mother! Run for the hills & FAST!
kgromer 2
You obviously haven't been with him long enough if she hasn't cooked for you yet.....
noisebox 1
You can't go wrong with pizza
robert76 5
Bleh, this was a double post.
angelevermore 1
I like how everyone's assuming the fiance who's not close to the family is a man. This was written by a guy so I'm going to assume that SHE isn't close to the family. I mean, it definitely could be a he, don't get me wrong, but you guys are just being rude by assuming like that.
rc1162 1
The OP is a male, and the person he's going to marry is the female. Illustrated by the fact that he spelt fiancee with two 'e's. Get it right, people.
fantasyworld 39
I guess you'll be ordering pizza.