Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML
Today, my husband woke me up by sending me a picture of a guy I used to semi-see. The same night my boyfriend sent me a furious text asking why I didn’t tell him I’m married, because my husband has found his Instagram and was harassing him online. Like, leave me alone. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML
Today, my wife woke me up, saying her husband was home and that I needed to escape before he caught me. I was still struggling with the window when I remembered I’m her husband and she was laughing, filming my half-asleep ass trying to escape from being caught by myself cheating with my own wife. Duh. FML
Today, I found out that my husband wants to leave me. I got the message loud and clear when his girlfriend forwarded me screenshots of all their texts. FML
Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML
Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML
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Top comments
person961 9
Husband: I see another man near you in our house! Wife: Thats your reflection dear Husband: Oh... just making sure because I don't want to lose you to our pool boy Wife: We don't even have a pool boy Husband:...Click
YourEvilHero 12
the joy of having big houses...
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Comments (35)
Twisted_Angel 17
why didn't you answer the phone after the first one? if he has reason to worry about what you're doing, then it's your own fault!
bach2121 13
He's so observant
Stitch720 1
Sounds like someone has a guilty feeling inside
JPEllis 0
Maybe he got paranoid to cover up his cheating, it happens :( Walkie talkies are amazing for couples by the way!
zuelhater 7
Screwing around on him in the same house, now that takes balls!!!
sugoine 12
Tell him it's time to raise his IQ to above room temperature...
Accuraxy 10
I don't understand why he wouldn't even check to see if you were in the house first. Haha FYL though.
jaymeemarlene 0
Today I told my mom that I was doing p.e. online I am a senior in high school and have 9 credits she told me well at least they are dumbing things down for you. Fml
iHeartMuzik 0
Overly Attached Husband
mianm4 4
What a moron.