Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML

Good boy, best boy

Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML

Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML

Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML

Meow!

Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML

Never enough

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML