LaurahLunatic
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Darling_Cherry
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized that the only male that has ever been in bed with me has been my cat. FML
Anonymous
Good boy, best boy
Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML
crazycatlady
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Never enough
Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML
Fat Arsed Lass
East Tamaki, New Zealand
Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML
Sorry kitty
Sorry little buddy
Today, my cat sat on me, 30 minutes before I had to go to work. When I picked him up almost immediately after he got comfortable so I could get ready, he looked and sounded absolutely crushed. FML
Username
United States
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Catremorse
Centreville, United States
Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML
MoncaBang
United States
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
crazycat
Canada
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Anonymous
United States
Surprise, human!
Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML
Top comments
skyeyez9 25
i assume your cat is allowed to roam outside. It is in yours and the cat's best interest to get the feline spayed. unless you want a suprise kitten litter.
skyeyez9 25
in your defense, when certain animals are in heat, they literally turn irresistable to males. human females dont have that.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (54)
CyrusJT 3
FIRST! =P
JackR1104 0
You're pathetic. Post something constructive for ***** sake. Anyway OP, how do you know how many times your cat has had sex o_O Do you watch?
CobraKilla 0
LOL at what ^#8 said and animals will generally have sex more than humans. so dont worry about it plus this life not a movie, its not all about sex. now on the other hand if your cat which will prolly die within the next 5 years has a better life than you FYL
epicenur 2
and how did YOU find out about this?
DishHeads 9
wow ... your cat is a ****
bornagain19 0
mhm. :) I agree w/ tht.
M13LO 0
guess you should start taking lessons from your cat
cashmuhlah23 0
haha failure
skyeyez9 25
i assume your cat is allowed to roam outside. It is in yours and the cat's best interest to get the feline spayed. unless you want a suprise kitten litter.
NightVVulf 0
oh yeah, gotta get that kittyLove MEOW! that is just epic lolz.
skyeyez9 25
in your defense, when certain animals are in heat, they literally turn irresistable to males. human females dont have that.
epicwinmaster 0
its actually your cat has GOTTEN laid more times than you. no one says, "man im gonna be laid tonight"....
JackR1104 0
I hate "gotten" so much, I don't get why Americans can't just speak real English. And if you're going to be the grammar police, at least put capital letters at the beginning of your sentences...
arienh4 0
Actually, in proper English, and not the "substitute" Americans use, it's "has got laid."
punkchica123 0
and who the **** cares?
writerchic85 26
We speak American English.
Wankster 0
WOW! Not a FML for real... Cats can get laid anytime they want.
LewJH 0
Umm, firstly, cats are amazing so it doesn't surprise me at the amount they get laid. Secondly, how did you find this out? :|
v1kt4r 13
The fact that u have reached a low of comparing how many times you have got laid to your cat is the FML situation but also the whole idea that you even know how many times your cat has got laid makes it entirely your fault, get a life