Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Loose connections
Today, the pizza delivery guy and I know more about each other than me and my family ever have. FML
Thanks!
Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML
Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML
Asshole Design
Today, I bought a slice of pizza at my favorite gas station. Upon opening the box, I found that the lone piece of pepperoni visible through the window on the box was in fact the only piece on the whole slice. FML
Pizza > Love
Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML
Today, the pizza delivery guy saw me in my underwear. My boyfriend is so ashamed of me that he pointed out to the guy twice that we were just roommates. FML
Surprise!
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML
Today, I came home from a long business trip. I walked in the front door to see my house was a complete mess. The first thing my son said was, "Did you bring pizza?" FML
Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
Relatable
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
Top comments
jessxoxo28 5
get his #
MoobyTheCow 2
YDI for not ordering Chinese.
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Comments (98)
bigdickprick 0
You must be fat and unattractive.
Mustardnight 3
You really are a prick! But im not sure the big dick part is true, probably a big douche.
draydray 3
so? do him.
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
He can always bring along pizza
davidhasmorefun 0
maybe instead of ordering food , go to the gym. stupid lazy fat people.
Adorable_fml 0
Right, because obviously anyone who eats pizza is fat and disgusting. Like you've never ever ever had pizza, pal. Jesus christ.
Mustardnight 3
If she sees that delivery boy, the tone of the fml indicates its on a regular basis... Not that she is fat but pizza isn't healthy. If she can't get a date it may be related to her eating habits.
Foxracingluver 0
all u bitchy boys don't be mean... some girls just like pizza that's all.. omg Idk even wat I frikin said! respect the pizza man!
Lauren10102 3
im pretty sure that it isnt just guys who think that, cuz I'm a girl, and I agree...
quietlytearful 0
oh c'mon people, don't insult the OP. I'm sure, she is a nice person....
sapphiree_x 0
go out more? make friends..
saranottelling 7
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davidhasmorefun 0
yeah. she maybe nice but this fml is something that she can change. it's not like this is out of her control. she wants people to feel sorry for her, well I don't.
waterynuggets 0
Agreed.
NorfolkDude 2
You can't make anyone love you. Some people are meant to be single and it's quite painful. I mean in a world where everyone is in love, sometimes you're just the only one to get left behind. That's life, and sometimes it's a little hard to understand that especially if you got someone.
Horney4her69 0
gimme your address and I'll come over.
allen20 0
Are you that fat and ugly?