Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Loose connections
Today, the pizza delivery guy and I know more about each other than me and my family ever have. FML
Thanks!
Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML
Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML
Asshole Design
Today, I bought a slice of pizza at my favorite gas station. Upon opening the box, I found that the lone piece of pepperoni visible through the window on the box was in fact the only piece on the whole slice. FML
Pizza > Love
Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML
Today, the pizza delivery guy saw me in my underwear. My boyfriend is so ashamed of me that he pointed out to the guy twice that we were just roommates. FML
Surprise!
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML
Today, I came home from a long business trip. I walked in the front door to see my house was a complete mess. The first thing my son said was, "Did you bring pizza?" FML
Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
Relatable
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
Top comments
jessxoxo28 5
get his #
MoobyTheCow 2
YDI for not ordering Chinese.
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Comments (98)
davidhasmorefun 0
all the people here who says that you are not fat from eating pizza are also fatties.
superkitten_fml 0
While it is true that the pizza guy is the only one who shows up at your front door... ...There's a queue of guys coming in the backdoor ;) I would also like to point out I'm #69 :)
thepainter 0
there's your problem right there :)
canadians_02 0
Thats because you are a leafs fan... life sucks when your a toronto maple leafs fan. there's even a book about how bad they suck... i'd switch soon. :D
yermaw 0
i fancy you.
ford_f250 0
wats ur num? well change that real quick ;)
GeneralDisarray6 0
Maybe if you stopped eating pizza all the time and started sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up to loose weight you would actually be able to find a guy.
superkitten_fml 0
Yeah, guys dig girls that make themselves throw up. HAWT.
luella_fml 0
how do you know shes anerexic?
brunette4life 0
hahahahahahahahahaha your life SUCKS
snyan_ryder 0
thats what you get for being a leafs fan
facu 0
thats sad and funny at the same time