Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML
Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML
Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Today, I also learned how to fake an orgasm. Twice. FML
Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
Today, after faking my orgasms for several years, I found out that my boyfriend has been telling his friends that I'm super loose because he doesn't feel anything when I'm cumming. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year said she has been faking her orgasms since the first time we've had sex. FML
Today, I learned that I don’t need to fake my orgasms, even though I’ve never been given one. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
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Top comments
hjbeachbum 0
That's sad :(
RedPillSucks 33
ouch. Why do you feel the need to fake an ****** in any situation? There are lots of guys out there who will listen to what needs to be done to satisfy you. Good luck.
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Comments (134)
Daralea 21
Never fake it. You're not doing yourself or the guys any favours by lying.
perdix 31
Yes, you are. If a guy's giving you his best, and it's just not good enough, you need to fake it so he can keep his pride and dignity. Later on, find some other lame excuse to dump him.
Daralea 21
That just results in him staying awful, except now he's proud of it. I say if you don't like it, let him know...and yawn a couple of times during to drive the point home. (I kid with that, but seriously if the girl doesn't ****** it's their own fault for not taking control...unless he finishes early)
perdix 31
No, just make up some other excuse to dump him. You never want to let a man know he isn't satisfying you sexually. Let the next bitch deal with that. If you want him to improve, tell him you want him to take you beyond ordinary orgasms to squirting ones. There's a challenge that a real man can get his teeth into!
doogy15 11
No because then he'll think he's doing good and keep making the same mistake. You don't get good unless you really know how to please a girl.
perdix 31
Why is it the woman's job to teach her man to please her? If he's not bringing mad skills to the bedroom, she just may be out of his league. A real man would either have enough control that he can go long enough for her to come multiple times for real, or he'll ask her exactly what she wants and go on an exploration. Some of us can do both ;)
Daralea 21
If you don't think it's a woman's job to teach a guy how to please a woman, why do you believe it is her job to pretend he's good to begin with?
justanotherhuman 21
...answer: primarily because Perd up there is what we'd classify as a "Nth-level Master" when it comes to double-and-triple layers of context hidden within statements. I'm certainly no fan, but I must cede that he excels at it. The *only* thing I can state with certainty regarding his statements is that they're typically based in some degree of sarcasm(unless clearly stated otherwise); often he emphasizes opposite contexts within a given statement to stress his true intent, yet just as frequently does not. Another nod to sarcasm on his behalf, I suspect. /leeryeye
FU2causeUFML 2
That sucks balls. And your balls suck balls.
FU2causeUFML 2
lol Just realized this was a girl. I thought it was a guy. lol Fail.
verlorenerFall 8
I'm so glad you caught that before commenting that, since when do females have balls? XD
Daralea 21
(edit: dammit! why don't these comment end up where they are supposed to go?!)
yamatelle 19
Did the OP not hear Rihanna? "Baby, if I don't feel it, I ain't faking no, no." Seriously, I never got why some women fake orgasms. If you get in a relationship and you fake it, how in the hell is he going to know he's doing it right. Just tell him the truth and let him know the right spots. ;) Go out and get some, OP. If you're one of the unlucky ones, invest in a good *****. It comes in handy.
yamatelle 19
It *cums* in handy.
F_M_L_Alex92 10
if you want to make the guy feel good about himself, or if you want to stab him in the back later when he's the type to brag about it, thats when.
theonlysweetpea 10
You need some help OP. Seriously.
loserman67 36
Did you at least buy yourself dinner first? Maybe you need to romance yourself first, some wine, soft music, mood lighting, get in front of the mirror and admire what you are about to do, then go to town! One night in OP's room: "OOOHHHHH, OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH BABY that was awesome..." "You faked it you bitch I can tell" "No Baby, it was the real thing I swear" "I can tell when a woman is faking it and you FAKED IT..." "NO, NO I DIDN'T...(sobbing)" KNOCK - KNOCK "Sweetie, it's mommy, is everything okay in there?" -akward silence-
LOVEcouture 0
A little to into it yu think?!
lidsthesquid 4
Has this happened to you by any chance? ;)
Calyx_fml 22
YDI for faking orgasms. It's like the little clit who cried wolf.
Tyger44 1
Haha made me choke on the soda i was drinking ;)
TheHarvardian 25
Ha, I'm sorry, I really shouldn't laugh, but you have to admit that its a little bit hysterical.
pulore 3
Poor girl. :(
F_M_L_Alex92 10
you always climax during mastrubating, cuz it isn't over till you climax