Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML
Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML
Today, I heard my mom ask "Are you okay?" I opened my mouth to tell her about how I've been feeling suicidal lately. At that second, I realized she was talking to my cat. FML
Today, I learned that instead of spending Christmas alone with my cat, enjoying chicken quesadillas and a tin of tuna while watching only the best cartoons, my mother's coming over. FML
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML
Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML
Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML
Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML
Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
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Top comments
amiracle 0
What, so cats cant enjoy How The Grinch Stole Christmas? Wait, what was the point here?
glorbnakcs 0
FYL indeed for having a douche for a son. I'm not a lonely person, but I read to my dog sometimes. Guess what. I bet lots of other people do it as well. It doesn't make them crazy.
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Comments (83)
yuchuanzhen 0
我发现我自己独自生活得太久了。我读《圣诞怪杰》给我的猫听，读的生活声情并茂，并确保他能看到上面的图。我儿子打来电话，我告诉他这件事。他直接给了我最近的精神病医院的电话号码。
BeautifulColours 0
Try English. (Although I can read that).
Neutie 0
I used babelfish to translate that, it's actually just the OP's post in Chinese :P
Person1233 13
The chinese writing reminds me of Chuck Norris battling Jesus for the lulz, in stick figure form.
Vanni 0
English only, please! Thanks. :)
Ipreferbroccoli 0
Do you also smell of desperation?
LilaBear 2
This belongs at MLIA. It is funny and you need to learn to laught at yourself.
jchansfan 0
I'm sure you cat supports his choice to do so.
fobchick 0
Hey Lilabear how about you go **** yourself, stupid bitch.
Skull_300 0
What the ****?
transcedental 18
What the ... it's ok to say "who's my kitty, who's my furry little ball..."etc. but it's not ok to read to your cat? F**kin hypocrits ~_~ cats are the best, keep reading to it OP and ignore what your narrow-minded son have said.. You' re not crazy, cats>people ;]
transcedental 18
snap, double post
Ketsuhime 0
There is nothing wrong with reading to your cat.
ShaydeStar 0
Op...there's nothing wrong with you...or your cat.