Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML
Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML
Today, I heard my mom ask "Are you okay?" I opened my mouth to tell her about how I've been feeling suicidal lately. At that second, I realized she was talking to my cat. FML
Today, I learned that instead of spending Christmas alone with my cat, enjoying chicken quesadillas and a tin of tuna while watching only the best cartoons, my mother's coming over. FML
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML
Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML
Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML
Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML
Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
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Top comments
amiracle 0
What, so cats cant enjoy How The Grinch Stole Christmas? Wait, what was the point here?
glorbnakcs 0
FYL indeed for having a douche for a son. I'm not a lonely person, but I read to my dog sometimes. Guess what. I bet lots of other people do it as well. It doesn't make them crazy.
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Comments (83)
Cklixus 1
Crazy cat lady level: over 9000!!!
Maycontainnuts 17
I personally think you are awesome!
juice99 13
YDI for being a cat obsessed person. And you wonder why you're "alone"
projectem7 14
So, did you call?
Looneytune31 4
You should probably call the number
ToxicTyrael 26
If you don't like being alone why don't you make friends at work or go out? Maybe you can find someone to do stuff :)
supertacowaffle 41
This is sweet, your son is mean
Circles 18
I think it's cute and sweet of you if anything tbh