Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half carving a block of cheese to make cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML
Today, I had a barbecue. My boss won't believe me tomorrow when I tell him that the main pages of his 2-months worth of work file helped make the best sausages I've ever cooked. FML
Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML
Today, while on break from work, I went to the cafeteria and bought cheese cubes. One of my coworkers, who is usually very pleasant, asked to try some and I said yes. She ate all the cheddar cubes in the bowl, which are the only ones I like. I wasted $3 for someone else to eat my food. FML
Today, my boss hired a new meat cutter because our old one stopped showing up for work. After he put the smock on, I told him what needed to be done. Without saying a word, he walks over to my boss, hands him his smock and says, "I quit." Guess I'm on my own. FML
Today, I was disciplined by my boss for "not smiling enough." I'm a dishwasher. FML
Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML
Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML
Today, one of my usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job. I declined, but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it. I have been violently ill for the past two hours. FML
Today, while working at a sandwich shop, we had a shortage and could only put so many veggies on one sandwich. I explained this to one man who was grumpy about it, but kept on ordering. I thought everything went well. He thought my face was a good target to launch his completed sandwich at. FML
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Top comments
SpaceCoyote 0
YDI for not appreciating the art of perfectly sculpted cheddar goggles.
123sploosh 0
can someone please explain this to me? i dont know what its talking about
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Comments (105)
juicy_extasy 25
LOL! Favourited =D
vansbabe66 0
sour puss
shekezim 0
hahah. commets are funnier than the post itself. haha
wordgirl 0
youthink: Live up to you name. :) Staff is correct if you refer to it with plural modifiers. To wit: -My staff is comprised of many capable cooks and one very good sous-chef. -My staff are all taking vacation at the same time so the restaurant will be closed for the month of July.
crimson46 0
fire all them
Gabe88 0
**** you and your dumb FML now all of us don't care about you either
youthink_fml 0
One staff = The staff DOESN'T. Many members of the staff = Staff members DON'T. One staff, more than one member. One universe, more than one planet. One class, more than one student. It doesn't matter if it's comprised of many things, it itself is only one thing. "My staff IS taking vacation..." "My staff members ARE taking vacation....".
LaLaJuice 0
my staff DON'T take me seriously......ydi for using incorrect grammar and making absolutely no sense whatsoeverrrrr....i didn't understand this at all..FAIL!
pepdep3333 0
you mean your staff DOESNT take you seriously.. maybe it's because you speak like an idoit
xf0rg0tt3nx 0
Actually, don't is referring to staff, which is used as a collective noun making it plural. Don't is correct in this case. ;D
I_am_stupid_also 6
Actually that chef has a pretty funny idea for a theme for a restaurant. OP should give him some leeway.