Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half carving a block of cheese to make cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML
Today, I had a barbecue. My boss won't believe me tomorrow when I tell him that the main pages of his 2-months worth of work file helped make the best sausages I've ever cooked. FML
Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML
Today, while on break from work, I went to the cafeteria and bought cheese cubes. One of my coworkers, who is usually very pleasant, asked to try some and I said yes. She ate all the cheddar cubes in the bowl, which are the only ones I like. I wasted $3 for someone else to eat my food. FML
Today, my boss hired a new meat cutter because our old one stopped showing up for work. After he put the smock on, I told him what needed to be done. Without saying a word, he walks over to my boss, hands him his smock and says, "I quit." Guess I'm on my own. FML
Today, I was disciplined by my boss for "not smiling enough." I'm a dishwasher. FML
Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML
Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML
Today, one of my usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job. I declined, but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it. I have been violently ill for the past two hours. FML
Today, while working at a sandwich shop, we had a shortage and could only put so many veggies on one sandwich. I explained this to one man who was grumpy about it, but kept on ordering. I thought everything went well. He thought my face was a good target to launch his completed sandwich at. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SpaceCoyote 0
YDI for not appreciating the art of perfectly sculpted cheddar goggles.
123sploosh 0
can someone please explain this to me? i dont know what its talking about
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (105)
shamefaced 0
I thought that meant some sort of magical goggles specifically for cheese carving :D
acrippledkoala 0
in my book that dude just earned a raise! haha
kkacanek 0
I doesn't take you seriously
aziyel 0
why did you pull his shirt up
unpossible 26
The chef pulled up his own shirt in an act of hilarity and rebellion when he was confronted by the OP; which means he was expecting to be confronted by the OP. Clearly, (as the OP indicated) he does not take the OP's ability to discipline him seriously probably because of the OP's poor leadership skills in the past.
elizanena9 0
hahaha! that's so funny!
dcjohnsmee 0
sounds like the kind of chef who'd spend hours singing like a chicken, pretending he has torrettes and wouldn't think twice about grating a whole porkpie into someones bag as some sort of warped revenge. p.s only microsoft word and clungesplats correct spelling and grammar when they understood perfectly what had been written. don't be so pedantic "oh no he didn't start his sentance with a capital letter!!? i must tell him immediately so he learns from his mistake"
kirbybc12 0
you deserve it for being a spoiled asshole that needs staff.
CosmicPossum 2
Yeah, he should run the restaurant kitchen singlehandedly. What a spoiled asshole, needing help like that!
ilovejoshramsay 0
AAHHAHAHAH WTF ? thaat 's soo raandom (:
mmtkshaw 0
maybe it's because you are stupid and can't even spell "realiZed"
vk_hime 0
Wow, youre an idiot. UK? heard of it? realised is the correct spelling.
wowzaks 0
fire him you idiot