Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half carving a block of cheese to make cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML
Today, I had a barbecue. My boss won't believe me tomorrow when I tell him that the main pages of his 2-months worth of work file helped make the best sausages I've ever cooked. FML
Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML
Today, while on break from work, I went to the cafeteria and bought cheese cubes. One of my coworkers, who is usually very pleasant, asked to try some and I said yes. She ate all the cheddar cubes in the bowl, which are the only ones I like. I wasted $3 for someone else to eat my food. FML
Today, my boss hired a new meat cutter because our old one stopped showing up for work. After he put the smock on, I told him what needed to be done. Without saying a word, he walks over to my boss, hands him his smock and says, "I quit." Guess I'm on my own. FML
Today, I was disciplined by my boss for "not smiling enough." I'm a dishwasher. FML
Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML
Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML
Today, one of my usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job. I declined, but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it. I have been violently ill for the past two hours. FML
Today, while working at a sandwich shop, we had a shortage and could only put so many veggies on one sandwich. I explained this to one man who was grumpy about it, but kept on ordering. I thought everything went well. He thought my face was a good target to launch his completed sandwich at. FML
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Top comments
SpaceCoyote 0
YDI for not appreciating the art of perfectly sculpted cheddar goggles.
123sploosh 0
can someone please explain this to me? i dont know what its talking about
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Comments (105)
lonely_heart_89 6
this reminds me of the show "kitchen nightmares". anyone seen that? which also makes me think that if the chef has enough time to be carving goggles out of cheese, then the restaurant must not be doing so hot
lonely_heart_89 6
^ it cut off my above statement. ...then the restaurant must not be doing so hot,
lonely_heart_89 6
YDI, OP, for hiring someone who doesn't take the business seriously. ^ that's what it kept cutting off.
benen 0
sit on him and fart that always solves it
everydayisfml07 3
I believe you mean didn't or doesn't. dont isn't even the contraction: ydi for not knowing how to spell shit.
heyy89 0
it wouldn't be 'didn't.' that doesn't make sense.
dreamnitedarling 9
FYL indeed, unless you stil have this guy as your chef. THEN its a YDI. fire for cause and fight against paying a cent of unemployment.
mercury42 0
It's probably because your grammar sucks. "My staff don't..." YDI. Learn to speak.
waywick 0
perhaps they don't take you seriously because you don't be using proper English?
cuty496 0
lol there should be a wtf? button for fml
KaitHud 0
A block of cheese: $10.00. An hour of pay: approximately $12.00. Seeing a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach: priceless.
caligurl10 0
did you realise you have bad grammer???ydi for being a boss and not using proper grammer!
heyy89 0
bad GRAMMAR is just as bad as the inability to spell. people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.