Today, my boss hired a new meat cutter because our old one stopped showing up for work. After he put the smock on, I told him what needed to be done. Without saying a word, he walks over to my boss, hands him his smock and says, "I quit." Guess I'm on my own. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss quit his job and stopped coming in without warning. Guess who just inherited his tasks and responsibilities without the training or pay associated with his manager role. I was hired last year as a junior system admin. FML
Today, my boss gave me a new assignment at work: go online and look for my own replacement, then interview him. FML
Today, it's my first day as the boss, after waiting months for this promotion. Today is also the day my replacement, who I trained for three months, quit. Now I've got two jobs for the price of one. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him, "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was, "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML
Today, my boss called on my day off and told me to come to work. She neglected to tell me that it was simply to give me my recent paycheck after it got lost, but then she said, "Since you showed up in uniform, you might as well clock in for today. The new guy no-showed again." FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
Today, I saw my boss, so I mentioned to him, "Oh, I quit." He then interrupted, saying, "Great, I was going to fire you this week anyway." I wanted to tell him I quit smoking. FML
Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML
Today, it was my last day at work. I was offered a better job and accepted. Not wanting to leave my present boss hanging, I asked for time to give notice. While I trained my replacement, the owner at the new job had time to think about how slow the season is, and he decided not to fill the position. FML
Today, fifteen minutes before the end of the day, my boss asked me who I was training to replace me. He then said never mind, that it was his job to choose someone. I hadn't indicated that I was planning on leaving the company. FML
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Top comments
Jonny_Blaze0017 26
Are you showing him how to cut human meat by any chance?
cookingoil18 6
This is your chance to really show your boss what you are capable of. Work hard and I'm sure it will all work it in the end. Stay in there OP.
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Comments (40)
cookingoil18 6
This is your chance to really show your boss what you are capable of. Work hard and I'm sure it will all work it in the end. Stay in there OP.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Or it could backfire. I made the mistake of showing my boss once what I was really capable of and all it did was convince them that they didn't need to replace the other person because I was able to do it. Also that there was no need to pay me more since I was already doing the work without the extra pay. I eventually wound up getting a new job and quitting. So the OP should be prepared for that possibility and be ready to look for another job if necessary.
allie2590 31
What 17 said is most likely what will happen. Employers will cut corners at every opportunity they can.
Jonny_Blaze0017 26
Are you showing him how to cut human meat by any chance?
Welshite 40
Who would quit over that? It would be like a dream job come true for me.
cranberries_fml 17
No they're cutting Soylent
cathrope 10
That would actually get me to stay. I like to gross my co-workers out, they'd ask me to get them a can of diced tomatoes and I'd hand them the can say "here's the can of heart bits you wanted". :-)
baxeh 29
Did you brush your teeth OP?
james_logan 19
Seems like someone doesn't like being told what to do by a woman
chuka81 27
And out of nowhere, sexism.
Dale_shackleford 13
Sounds more like he thought he would just be using a deli cutter or something and just learned that he would actually be doing hard work.
james_logan 19
#11, I'm not trying to be sexist, but it is a possibility as to why he quit.
xDrakeNinja 12
Out of all the reason there coul've been, you chose to believe its sexism?
naajster 14
talk about a lasting first impression
CitricAcid 21
Maybe you should consider investing in some bottles of brain bleach...
CitricAcid 21
Sorry, that was intended for another FML, not this one. Carry on your way...
chuka81 27
Yes, yes, I'd carry on. After I've done the right thing by thumbing this comment down.
allie2590 31
I see others took a leaf out of your book...
pjsr 33
Regardless of what FML it was, 'brain bleach', 'eye bleach', and any other bleach has been overused as much as 'that's a shitty situation'.
RememberSchlitz 9
Not a prime candidate for that choice position? Made a misteak applying for the before realizing he was too cow-ardly to cut it? You butcher life he was! Hope he didn't take it on the lamb and instead chose to loin a new trade from the ground round up. That's all I ham, shanks for gristling.
Madrias 36
You overdid it. One or two might've been funny, but by then you should have laid the puns out to pasture.
socialproduct 19
I thought it was pretty cleaver
snarkytruth 37
As many puns as you stuffed in your reply I can't believe you overlooked the most obvious- he just couldn't make the cut. ;)
qwert1928 3
Quality, not quantity. Relax dude.
Fartful_Dodger 8
Maybe someone else should handle New Employee Orientation...
ShadowLurk 8
It's a nonsense, Did he accept the job without knowing his duties?
ThrottleJockey 36
I'll cut to the chase. Sounds like he just couldn't cut it. To be a good butcher you must be a cut above the rest. Some people are just not cut out for such a career. (I'd best cut it off there lest I be down voted into oblivion.)