Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's ex. I decided to be a good person and hold the door for her as we walked into the store. She decided to be the bitch she is and stomp on my foot as she walked through the open doorway. FML
Today, I saw my ex and his new girlfriend walking towards me. To make things less awkward, I tried to be cool and give him a high five. He misjudged and went for a fist bump. I ended up slapping his hand, and it felt like it lasted forever, all while she just smirked at me. FML
Today, I ran into my ex at our local supermarket. Trying to be aloof, I waved casually, but I misjudged the distance and knocked over a display of canned beans. My ex just stood there, laughing, while I scrambled to rearrange up my mess. FML
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, I proposed to the girl of my dreams. She asked me who I was, and maced me. FML
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
Today, I ran into an old friend of mine at the store. All was going fine, until she showed me her new fiancé. My now ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 4 years ago. Turns out she hasn’t found love again since I broke it off with her for her best friend. She’s not the bubbly, cheery girl I met before. I can’t help but feel like an asshole. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Really? She hit you with a mace? Where does one buy a big spiked iron ball on a stick these days? I could really use one.
Ambient25 25
You should put her number on Craigslist
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Comments (143)
RedPillSucks 33
I think she still holds just a little bit of a grudge.
voodocutie 4
Pretty sure no one realizes this but you could have had her arrested for assault
pinchepriscyla 9
Ooh bad breakup?
K410 18
Lol you must've been a real asshole durring the relationship
ballpython 15
Let me guess, you are a woman? Edit: Also, I'm thinking someone is a little bitter about a past relationship ^^^.
DJrEddyLeb 7
She eyes you like a nigga don't exist, ex-gf we know you want his dxck!;P
viper0hr 7
You people are morons. That is assault and you should have had the crazy bitch arrested.
Ethrockerdude 6
Wow, well at least you were right about being the mature one
ashleylynn520 4
Being mature is nice but getting revenge is sweeter! Thats all I gotta say... Get her back I won't look down on u for it.
BradTheBrony 19
I think it never came up because it just goes without saying.
thehowiie 6
see this is why some women end up being beaten