Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's ex. I decided to be a good person and hold the door for her as we walked into the store. She decided to be the bitch she is and stomp on my foot as she walked through the open doorway. FML
Today, I saw my ex and his new girlfriend walking towards me. To make things less awkward, I tried to be cool and give him a high five. He misjudged and went for a fist bump. I ended up slapping his hand, and it felt like it lasted forever, all while she just smirked at me. FML
Today, I ran into my ex at our local supermarket. Trying to be aloof, I waved casually, but I misjudged the distance and knocked over a display of canned beans. My ex just stood there, laughing, while I scrambled to rearrange up my mess. FML
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, I proposed to the girl of my dreams. She asked me who I was, and maced me. FML
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
Today, I ran into an old friend of mine at the store. All was going fine, until she showed me her new fiancé. My now ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 4 years ago. Turns out she hasn’t found love again since I broke it off with her for her best friend. She’s not the bubbly, cheery girl I met before. I can’t help but feel like an asshole. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
Really? She hit you with a mace? Where does one buy a big spiked iron ball on a stick these days? I could really use one.
Ambient25 25
You should put her number on Craigslist
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (143)
ShenaniganNinja 20
That's called assault. Don't let her get away with it just cause she's a woman. Violence of any kind be it a man towards a woman or a woman towards a man, is unacceptable.
ZombieSazza 34
Welp, this is why she's your ex! But seriously, if any ex of mine is mature enough to just say "hi", it's polite and civil to return the conversation. Don't ******* mace the guy!!! But you should report her, that's assault.
msmclovin 4
Either she's a crazy bitch or you were crazy hike you two were together
Szaszaspasz 26
Good thing she's your ex
Sterase 5
Why would you go up to her? O.o just get on with your business lol.. No need to announce yourself.
blackwidowtaco 31
Yeah, I agree with the other posters. If she was your ex, there's a reason you broke up & it probably would of been best not to try and speak with her. Especially if she's psycho like that.
Nat52482 25
Pretty sure that qualifies as assault....
midnightmoon106 12
Bitches be crazy
Mcstud1y 30
Should have counter struck
R2A8 17
What’s does ‘Macing’ mean?