Today, I posted on Facebook about a cooking mishap I had. My fiancé and ex then spent the next hour trading stories of my other kitchen disasters in the comments. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML
Today, I was at a fancy family dinner. The dish I'd made was served, and as we ate, I told my aunt that I was a total failure as a cook, explaining everything wrong about my dish, in painful detail. Apparently we'd both made the same dish. That one wasn't mine. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML
Today, I tried a new recipe for dinner. However, the recipe was written by someone with a penchant for overly dramatic storytelling. I spent the entire evening deciphering the narrative while desperately trying to salvage a dish that ultimately tasted like disappointment. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML
Today, my ex invited me to dinner where we had a wonderful time. She even picked the first restaurant I'd took her to, and just as I was considering asking her to get back together, she tells me that she’s engaged and didn’t want me to find out from Facebook. I swear the chefs heard my heart break. FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
UndeadFML 22
Sounds like you were roasted.
Morning_fml 22
Well, at least they're on good terms unlike most relationships involving exes lol.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (47)
shitstorm28 11
if I were you, I'd consider two options. 1. tell him cooking is his job now, since he thinks he can do better, or 2. consider taking cooking classes
Drosophila82 18
That's real support
mbock 15
sounds like a bromance building!!!!
CaptainBlack 18
gonna go out on a limb here and say that the hour of stories might be an indication that you deserved it. FYL anyway though, sounds like quite the blow to the ego
bangbang99 13
y
missmum2010 17
I ❤️ your name :)
EsotericAura 25
YDI for keeping your ex on Facebook.
leogachi 15
@35 She deserves it because you expect her to make the same choices you would? I know a lot of people who are still friends with their exes. Not everyone has to cut people out of their lives after a breakup.
RealSuperSand 21
Sorry OP but this one had me laughing. When you're fiance and your ex trade stores about you and are both entertained snd friendly, there probably pretty accurate about some stuff.
bubbsorcuz 10
atleast they get along
dc2fresh 15
Why so clumsy??