Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while driving with my three year-old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I picked up my daughter from daycare. As we were getting into the car, I strapped her into the car seat, but something felt off. I looked back and realized I had picked up the wrong kid. In my defense, she was wearing the same jacket as my daughter. FML
Today, I was really excited that I'd made it the two weeks I'd borrowed my mother-in-law's new car without putting a scratch on it. I got off work to discover a customer's child throwing rocks in the parking lot. They cracked the windshield. FML
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Top comments
anglcdvl89 0
I can just hear a little girl go "Look how pretty the butterfly i--WHATDIDYOUDOOOOO???" FbothyourL because now your daughter probably thinks your a monster.
xkonstantine125x 7
Lol...I'm still laughing..oh god this is great
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Comments (128)
NoozeHound 0
Destroyer of worlds, you have no option... Butterfly loses war of wind shield. Aren't you glad we are top of food chain offspring? Aww No Mummy. priddy buddafly... "So aren't you glad *you* understand wipers...?"
shamille 5
aaaah life lessons
NoozeHound 0
I should defo be on telly
ComputerAnalysis 0
Hahahaha
Glam_fml 0
OMG, that's hilarious. You should have taken the opportunity to explain death to her.
Eresbel 0
I don't believe it was an accident.
xoxojanaxoxo 0
not funny... poor butterfly :(
missvintage_fml 0
aw. the poor butterfly. the poor girl. ):
alewiina 0
Haha awwww. Poor thing. xD
MamaCita1633 0
hahahha this is to good! made me laugh soooo hard (: poor girl. but hahah.