Today, I overheard my mother telling a friend she got me oven mitts for Christmas. I got her two cruise tickets. I hate to cook. Which she knows. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that my mom's laptop was originally my Christmas gift. She opened it and decided she liked it so much she should have it. I got hot rollers. FML
Today, I received three big boxes from my mother in law, containing expensive cookware. I was puzzled, because I know that she hates me. Turns out she mailed them to us by mistake. Not only did she not get us anything, but I now have to pay to ship the boxes to her neighbor. FML
Today, my mother-in-law got me a pair of $2 socks for my birthday. Usually, I don't care… until I found out she got my husband's friend, not even best friend, a $100 gift card, and offered him her free hotel room at the casinos. This is the fifth holiday in a row I've received gifts under $10. FML
Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML
Today, I already hate the holidays. My mom has been trying to be helpful, but has severe undiagnosed memory problems that our family ignores. They've also ignored all the house repairs, but have no problem consoling her while she cries how mean I am for missing her party, because I used my vacation time to fix the house. FML
Today, I bought my mom a gift certificate for a spa treatment for two so we could spend some quality time together. She took my sister. FML
Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell mop so I can "do a better job" when I "clean her floors". FML
Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML
Today, I discovered my mom has been using my credit card to buy everyone's Christmas presents. FML
Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML
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Top comments
rockhound 0
Get her a cheap gift, and go on the cruise yourself. But first be sure to return the oven mitts she gives you for some tip money on the cruise. Then send her photos of your nice, relaxing vacation.
x_Cupcakes 0
Wow. Return the tickets and get her a shitty gift too!
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Comments (106)
adrielXD 2
your mother has raised u up for so many years. she prolly deserves the cruise tix anyway. doesnt mean just because she got you oven mits you shouldnt give them to her
ulicksam 0
So it's all about the money for you. How ungrateful. You obviously deserve it.
BonJovi821 3
You obviously forgot to consider the fact that OP's mom KNOWS that OP hates cooking, yet got oven mitts anyway.
kittydidit 0
Keep the tickets and give her something homemade and from the heart - kill her with kindness AND get the big prize lol
underpaid011 0
maybe she knows you were listening? and if not, hope they are red! you can be a lobster next Halloween!
starile 20
This is so cute, way to be optimistic!
swift07 4
she prob saw you listening to her so she just said that cuz NO mom gives oven Mitsubishi as a gift :-/
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Auto-Correct is a real bitch isn't it? I hate it when it completely changes sentences I was trying to write.
swift07 4
mits^^^^****** dam auto spell check!!!!!
petrolhead 12
she did it for a reason. fail FML imo.
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
Either your Mom has an interesting sense of humour or she doesn't love you.
golfchick84 0
How do you know she wasn't just saying that because she knew you were listening? who talks about a gift they got someone when that person is anywhere around?
imhowie 2
She probably did that because you think "which she knows" makes sense as a sentence.