Today, I overheard my mother-in-law and sister-in-law over the baby monitor. They were talking about how much better off my daughter would be if I were to die. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML
Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML
Today, I overheard my in-laws talking about me. It started off with light insults and ended with, "People like her are the reason murder ain't always wrong". FML
Today, I overheard my mother-in-law say to her daughter "I can't wait for you to make me a real grandma." I'm pregnant with their first grandchild. FML
Today, I overheard my mother saying that if murder were legal, there would be absolutely no chance that I wouldn’t have been killed as a baby. FML
Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML
Today, I was feeling depressed. I overheard my mom crying on the phone. She said, “If my daughter kills herself, who’s going to do the dishes?” FML
Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML
Today, my daughter apparently has had enough of my mother-in-law's favoritism and constant bashing of me by telling her, "Grandma, might I highly recommend death at this point?" She's 7. FML
Today, while talking to my sister, I explained to her that the reason I hope I end up having a girl is I want my daughter to love me the way I "used" to love my own mother. I didn't mean to say it in the past tense. My sister told my mom. She's planning my baby shower. FML
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Top comments
syki 22
Step 1: Call them into whatever room you have the receiver in. Step 2: Go into the baby's room and start talking about how great baby monitors are. Step 3: ??? Step 4: Profit
Idiotskillme 20
Well OP the solution is simple. Fake your death and see what happens. JK I'm sure they don't know your daughter like you do, any kid would be lost without their mother, I know I would be
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Comments (97)
SixthSinEnvy 39
Pull a Gone Girl and blame it on them. Works especially well if you got their ponderings on tape.
beeferjay 34
Yes, and make sure to save money for the kids therapy sessions too!
viperAUS 15
pretty much #14
Mathalamus 25
... what?
XxDanno316xX 27
I can quote it for you, mate. :)
Mathalamus 25
wrong kind of "what." there are different kinds, you know? with different meanings.
False_Stupidity 42
Then perhaps you should elaborate in the future so that we can tell which what your talking about.
snowkittyyy 18
That is so mean! I think you should call them out on it and have a talk. :(
MELKOZAR 27
That really sucks.
Red_Curls1995 28
I think it'd be best to talk to them about that. It wasn't okay for them to say and you really don't need people who are going to talk about you like that in your or your daughter's life.
Iwannarock1 19
Has anyone found their bodies yet?
Spentpoet 26
Maybe they might be better off with a new daughter-in-law.
MidnaLink 35
They certainly seem to think so.
chosha_fml 27
Your daughter would be better off without those toxic harpies in her life. Unbelievable.
zaidthunder1 27
Get Gone Girl.
nyf137 20
How rude.. nasty, sometimes I just can't believe people