Today, I opened a window that had been shut for a couple of months. As soon as I did, dozens of tiny baby spiders blew in with the breeze, and dispersed in my kitchen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML
Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML
Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML
Today, I noticed a little white ball in the corner of my bedroom ceiling. I guess it had been there for a while already, but the teeming mass of baby spiders crawling out made it a lot more conspicuous. FML
Today, some spider must have had babies somewhere in the walls, because every five minutes I seem to find yet another spider on my ceiling, in my cupboards, under the furniture, everywhere. I’m so fed up of smashing them, I’m thinking of getting the house fumigated. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I saw a moth trapped in a spider web. Feeling gracious, I gently freed it, and then took it to the window to let it out. When I opened the window to set him free, my $300 air conditioner fell two stories and smashed on the sidewalk. The moth flew away. FML
Today, the spiders in my house are so big that they catch wasps in their webs. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SalsaVerdeDonut 22
I'll bring the gasoline. You just bring the matches.
MagnusDeus 24
Nope
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (94)
5FDPmetalhead 17
It's official. Time to burn the house down.
RealSuperSand 21
Everything burns.
worldclassrager 41
Try an exterminator before making your house a pile of ash...
sashakotlik 14
im shaking just reading this
Lalala579121 28
Be glad you don't live in Australia.
hollyl925 15
do you need help packing?
myoukei 31
Well, you won't have a fly problem anymore :D
Hildy93 21
Fire. Burn the place down with fire.
cyberI7 13
1. Sleep with your mouth closed. 2. Buy a Gecko. They eat insects of all sorts. 3. Put a screen on that window.
jenn2119 9
Or do as Sabrina on Raising Hope does-- Sleep with panty hose on your head. :P
redbluegreen 41
Wilbur would be disappointed in all of you.