Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML
Today, I decided to wear string panties. While in line at the mall, they became untied. I was wearing a skirt. FML
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
Today, I went for a job interview. While waiting to be called in, I noticed a tiny thread hanging from my shirt. I pulled it to fix it but almost unraveled half my sleeve before the interviewer walked in. I spent 30 minutes holding my arm against my side like I was hiding evidence. FML
Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML
Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML
Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML
Today, I was at work and caught my pants on the corner of the door hinge. They tore completely open and my hairy cheek was exposed for the whole office to see. FML
Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store. I bent to get some dog food off the bottom shelf and felt my pants tear. My jeans split right across the back seam, showing everyone I was wearing a pink thong under them. I had to ditch my cart and leave as I had no way to cover myself. FML
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Top comments
Bakarra 22
Hey at least you weren't also squeezing your nipple trying to lower the volume on your iPod...
counterfit 10
"A mermaid spreading her legs" Think about that for a second.
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Comments (45)
karlcolt45 19
Starbucks is 2 things! unfair coffee importer, and public hipster literary meeting space! no self exploration!
kansah 25
Hopefully you didn't un-do the seem and make a hole while pulling at the stray string!
pimpcrackerz 7
probably couldve picked a better time to do that lol
NurseJonathan 9
Holy shit, Batman! We have ourselves a detective!
lucilu89 12
That's definitely awkward OP. Hopefully no one was looking! Just be glad you weren't the "bell ringer" ringing a bell at a football game, but looking like he was jacking off on national television.
The_Thinker 18
If I were a witness, I'd also be a little too quick to assume you were pulling at something a little thicker than a mere stray thread.
The_Thinker 18
*a hell of a lot thicker actually, for your sake.
counterfit 10
"A mermaid spreading her legs" Think about that for a second.
sikunt89_fml 16
Mermaids don't have legs.
OhDearBetrayal 25
Actually, it's a mermaid with two tails. This isn't followed by disney but in ancient folklore mermaids with two tails were considered good and fair whereas those with one were believed to be evil sirens.
BlueFlatts 20
The more you know. The smarter I get.
lambda_fml 40
Stray string eh?