Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML
Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML
Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his taser at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tased him for acting aggressively. FML
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML
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Top comments
noobpwn12321 6
They could have been friends messing around...
TheJoeydark 4
I would've smacked him in the face and said "I thought you needed a Little help"
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Comments (81)
brand0n93 5
maybe he had a short fuse
Dale194 0
You brought them together happily. Good job!! :)
noisebox 1
That story could be a live comedy routine I'd pay money to see especially if the big really squashed the little guy...
Epikouros 32
Sorry OP, we like to play in public.
PrincessPesa 20
Size-play? Is that a whole fetish genre I've been neglecting...?
oomph_fml 25
They were probably just some stupid friends mucking around. It was considerate of you to try and lend a hand, but maybe next time you shouldn't jump to conclusions so quickly.
BobbieH 19
Why would you get in the middle of this situation? Unless you wanted to get punched? If these were children then maybe I could understand but in situations between adults, stay out of it.
koortneyg 12
He's an angry elf
ambowew 7
Don't worry, Naruto and Bee are just fired up for the upcoming war. if you knew the ****** that's after them, you'd understand.
yahiko_fml 6
Pure win! glad to find a fellow Naruto fan on here
goodgood_fml 5
Go Naruto and Bee!!
mbpoland 5
This exact to the very word post has already been posted on FML before
littlemissjayy 8
Wow well there are good times and there are bad