Today, I moved in with my brother to save on a swanky apartment. I was skeptical as to how this would work out as we fought a lot as kids. Our first big fight? Whether or not to keep his dorm-style futon complete with Return of the Jedi sheets. He's a 35-yr old physician; I'm a 28-yr old lawyer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, despite the fact that I live with my parents and pay rent, my mom decided the best spot for my brother, his wife and one-year-old son was my bedroom. So I'm sleeping on the couch, because it would, "take too long to clean her room." FML
Today, my brother and I moved out of an apartment into a new one. We both have ADD. Whatever you now imagine what that went like, yes, it exactly went like that. FML
Today, I was visiting my in-laws and sharing a room with my husband's 17-year-old sister. Later that night she and her brother of 24 years started fist-fighting over an air mattress and I had to pull them off each other. The brother later berated me with, "You can't handle any pressure!" FML
Today, after I moved in with my best friend a year ago, living with her and her boyfriend for over 3 months, I couldn’t handle them fighting so I moved out 9 months later. She cheated on her boyfriend with a coworker and is now moving in with me, so, "We can live like wild teenagers." We’re both 30 and I’m not single. FML
Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML
Today, it’s been a year since my brother-in-law started sleeping on our sofa. At first I had sympathy, but he hasn’t even been looking for a job, so when I found him wearing my robe, drinking my sherry, in my armchair, I evicted his ass. Now I’m the one sleeping on the sofa because my wife is mad at me. FML
Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I moved into our own house. He proceeded to invite his parents to stay for the week. The same parents we've lived with for the past 5 years. FML
Today, my husband threw my brother out for wearing his dressing gown and eating his snacks, saying it was the final straw for his lazy, thieving, unemployed ass. I support my husband obviously, but now my parents are mad at me because my brother moved back in with them. FML
Today, I found out that my overprotective brother is going to move in with me when he gets out of jail. My chances of ever being in a relationship are now next to zero. FML
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Top comments
AndelleRae 9
Lmfao. This is ******* awesome.
peter_man 0
i hope you kept them.
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Comments (134)
crescent_indigo 0
haha you guys are adorable
metheonlyb 17
Nice way to start off!!! Wonder what your next topic for fight will be.
Insert_Wit_Here 0
The only way I can agree that your life is ****** is if he was arguing against the sheets. That movie is the shit.
Edge578 0
So you move into your brother's apartment to save money. Then you tell HIM how his apartment would look. You're a lawyer, move out.
justmyluck1212 0
Exactly, I highly doubt the OP is what she claims to be. Lawyer + Doctor = $ballin$ Not sharing an apt. Move yo ass out if your gonna complain about his habits, it's not like you can't afford it.
notapplicable123 0
Not all lawyers are rich. Plus, considering her age and the length of law school, she probably just got out recently. It takes time to get into a firm and receive clients. New lawyers don't make much since they don't have a LOT of real life experience. When my dad got out of law school, he told me it took a while for him to start making a living. Even now we're not rich.
happyvalleygirl 0
1) The OP is in New York, which means they could live in New York City where apartments—especially swanky ones—are ridiculously expensive. 2) Lawyers don't just make tons of money. It depends on the law school you went to, grades, your internships during, etc. Not all lawyers make bank. 3) Law school is three years long and a lot of people don't go right from college to law school. If you go to a good school, that could be 40,000 x 3 = 120,000 dollars of debt, not to mention college loans.
Tubasaurus 0
Also, prosecuting attorneys don't make as much as defense attorneys. It's very possible the OP is a prosecuting attorney.
shmoop 0
parents must be proud...
Hazy_fml 0
Because their children are a lawyer and physician? Hell, I would be.
skullbuster 0
No, because their 35 year-old son and 28 year-old daughter are fighting over Return of the Jedi sheets and a futon.. Their mother is probably questioning why she didn't drown these ******* kids years ago?!
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Dude, I would recommend you seek therapy.
lexiBRo 0
You get a place to stay and are able to save money for a swanky apartment so there is definetly no fml here. Since you need a place to stay not him I suggest you suck it up and deal w/ the sheets.. If it bothers you that damn much move out and save money some other way, which would probably be best bc Im sure there are bigger fights to come if you are that petty.
p00p0ster0us 0
I appreciate your problem but remember, he's just your brother (not your son) and so long as he's not screwing up your space, he should be able to live with his beloved Jedi sheets, no matter how immature that is. It's not up to you to make him grow up. Just be glad they're not stained.
skullbuster 0
Listen, let's forget this "I appreciate" or "I understand" bullshit! Because, honestly, I don't understand and I don't think anyone else does either. Who gives a flying **** if he wants to have Star Wars sheets - a futon- maybe he grows 'shrooms out of his ass too... what difference does it make to you counselor? Until you make partner at some NYC firm, you are going to have to put up with Dr. Skywalker.. maybe you can get a lightsaber-themed vibrator and make it a family thing!
supershocker75 2
Keep them and watch The Big Bang Theory :P That's hilarious though
1R1X0X0 10
That was the post I came here for. :)
rekabdarb 0
be proud that was your first fight, instead over something actually important
Ospov 9
Look at it this way... At least you'll never have to listen to him and a girl do it in the next room.
alliwannado 0
LOL. I was thinking that. On the other hand though, now she's gotta hope all of her dates she brings home are Star Wars fans.