Today, I made quite an impression on my new bin men by forgetting to put the bin out 'til the last minute. I'm sure they enjoyed a good laugh at the woman in shorts, tank top and slippers struggling with a brolly as she slipped and slid while dragging her bin up a hill in a downpour. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to run to put the trash out for the garbage truck, only I was so hungover, I forgot I was only wearing an open dressing gown and no underwear. A few neighbours and passing cars got to see me swinging in the breeze. FML
Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML
Today, I went to drop the garbage in the compactor as I left to do some shopping. I quickly put my handbag down on the side, threw the 'garbage' in the machine, watched it do its thing, and then turned round to find... the bag of garbage on the side. FML
Today, I unpacked in my new, non-air conditioned apartment wearing nothing but underwear, a tank top and an apron to stay cool. Later, I realized I'd crossed through the complex to my car and the dumpster many times, and arranged my deck overlooking the parking lot, without ever donning shorts. FML
Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhood's garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML
Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML
Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML
Today, my co-workers were laughing at me because I couldn't throw paper into the bin, regardless of how close I was. Annoyed, I tried to prove then wrong by angry throwing paper into the bin that was no less that 1 cm away from me. I missed. FML
Today, like I do once a week, I put my bins out to be collected. I was woken up in the early hours by a drunk lad outside, claiming he was desperate for a waz. The sound of him pissing in my food waste bin will haunt me for the rest of my life. FML
Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML
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Top comments
townyyy7994 14
For those of you wondering, she's saying she forgot to take the trash out, so she had to do it just before the garbagemen came. In the UK, bin means trash/garbage.
glorktheaburger 14
what the **** does this mean
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Comments (42)
SixthSinEnvy 39
This is the most British thing I've read in a looong while.
Ging3rSnap 9
Be more British if she was drinking tea at the same time
cakester123 11
shouldn't they have helped you? personally if i saw a person struggling like this i would help them out and tell em its ok i got it and get inside and dry off.
dmq747 4
Council workers can't go onto private land without the correct form/forms being filled out as some of the councils have been sued or gotten into trouble due to their workers going onto private property.
moondoglou420 17
Well then next time you should do the smart thing... and bring a tip jar.
ChickenNug 17
This is the most British thing I have ever read.
0262944 15
I think she means garbage men.
species4872 20
As a matter of curiosity many names for different things from the UK that appear to amuse the masses are the same in Australia, some equivalents between the U.S and UK, Oz are- fender- mudguard windshield- windscreen trunk (car)- boot hood (car)- bonnet cell- mobile phone or just mobile wrench (tool)- spanner elevator- lift apartment- flat truck- lorry (more so UK) pants- trousers, in OZ pants are shorts or women's slacks. not sure about UK. sofa- lounge the john or the head- WC (water closet), bog, toilet, throne etc drug store- chemist good friends are known as mates, male or female. and bins or wheelie bins are garbage bins garbage men- garbo's I hope that you all find it amusing.
Kristoffer 35
"head" is naval terminology, not specifically American.
fakedsincerity 32
sofa = settee or couch lounge = living took or front room Where I'm from in the UK anyway. (: the rest i agree with though.
fakedsincerity 32
*living room, not living took. lol.
species4872 20
Yeah wasn't to sure about the UK for sofa. In Oz mostly lounge and where the sofa is, lounge room. I know head is more so Navel. couple more; diaper- nappy soccer- football (UK), in Oz still soccer lawyer- solicitor, barrister airplane- aeroplane small row boat- dinghy, not sure about UK brights, dims? (car lights)- hi beam and low beam (Oz) touring bus- coach (Oz)
im_teekay 7
Pants generally mean underwear in the UK. We also managed to completely confuse some American visitors by calling the toilet the loo (which is also common in NZ), and referring to NZers as Kiwis
species4872 20
oh yeah forgot about the loo or crapper, same here, pants are generally underpants here as well.
Kristoffer 35
bin there, done that
alex_gen 39
What's a brolly?
fakedsincerity 32
an umbrella. (:
Cebolamole 13
This is even better with an accent!
MariaGiovanni 25
Who else loves this because of the British vocab? OP please come back and tell more stories!