Today, I unpacked in my new, non-air conditioned apartment wearing nothing but underwear, a tank top and an apron to stay cool. Later, I realized I'd crossed through the complex to my car and the dumpster many times, and arranged my deck overlooking the parking lot, without ever donning shorts. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to run to put the trash out for the garbage truck, only I was so hungover, I forgot I was only wearing an open dressing gown and no underwear. A few neighbours and passing cars got to see me swinging in the breeze. FML
Today, I was at my new store, fixing it up. I was about to leave, so I took my clothes off to let the dirty ones dry, as I had other clothes in my car. I walked to the back of my store and the back door locked. The car was locked. I was in my boxers with no phone and no way to go home for 3 hours. FML
Today, I went to do laundry in my apartment building. I thought no one was around, so I walked down in my pajamas (a giant t-shirt with holes and socks with sandals). Of course, I ran into the neighbor I’ve had a crush on for months. He was shirtless, holding a laundry basket like an ad for cologne. He smiled and said, “Nice, erm, outfit?” I’ve never sprinted back upstairs faster. FML
Today, I cycled to work. Since it was so hot out, I decided to go shirtless, then I would put it on before I entered the building. Ninety minutes later, I arrived at work. My shirt, however, was still at home on my dresser. FML
Today, I went to a fancy restaurant. I was coming right from work and brought a change of clothes with me. I parked in an empty corner of the parking lot to change. As I was pulling my pants up, I noticed that I was facing an apartment complex where an old guy was watching me from his balcony. FML
Today, I ran out of moving boxes so I used a few garbage bags to pack up my clothes. My new roommate decided to be helpful by putting those green garbage bags in the dumpster. It was garbage day. FML
Today, I finally cleaned my apartment and felt accomplished. I took the trash out, walked back in, and promptly locked myself out in slippers, holding nothing but a banana. I sat on the stairs waiting for help, questioning every life choice. FML
Today, I discovered that when the man living in the house behind me thinks no one in the surrounding area is home, he likes to take his laundry off the line wearing nothing but a pair of sandals. FML
Today, I came home from a New Year's party wearing a shower curtain and nothing else. FML
Today, I got myself locked out of my apartment whilst taking the trash out. I was wearing pyjamas, holding a banana, and I'd left my phone inside. My neighbours learned a lot about me, seeing as no one recognised me and I had to explain that I actually live in the building. FML
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Top comments
Christopher723 0
Lucky neighbors!
iwabo 9
an apron? why?
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Comments (153)
austinkarimi 0
pics or it didn't happen
glee5 0
hmmmm I should try that
Asstazztic 8
She wanted to make herself feel welcome lol
madarchod 0
LOL, happens with the best
MarkSeattle 0
lol. what the heck with the apron?
seanreddog 4
Big ****** deal. unless it was crotchless panties...
seanreddog 4
...Or you dingdong hangin out. Or both... don't want that mental image. Dafp.
pancakesfordinne 0
in soviet Russia, it's ******* cold so we wore clothes 24 hours a day
smiles4life 1
how do u put a profile pic on this retarded thing????
boating_guy 33
PICS or it didn't happen pretty sure ur new neighbors enjoyed the show though...unless ur ugly
justj2010 0
aprons rock. you don't have to worry about getting paint & stuff on your clothes. except no clothes underneath. hmmm
seanreddog 4
Seriously is this an Fml because someone saw your legs? And I thought I was an uptight conservative ******...
crissyspic 0
hahahaha dumbass
dflip 0
that's hot.
Bubbelz 25
41, log in @ a computer :)
ColetteL 4
Welcome to the neighborhood!
Brittneyyyy 7
It's not like you were completely naked...
Mtrenchlvr 0
people could just think it's a bikini .. unless you're like wearing a thong . but what's with te apron?
commonusername 4
I bet it was a dude
medic717 0
my thoughts exactly #1
NzxtZ06 0
how is this an fml? and by the way OP, I would love some pics of that apron, with you still in it of course
Haileyw15 0
Lol. I did something like that before. But wtf with the apron? :o
PurpleMonkeysFor 0
ydi for wearing an apron .. ew ? baha
glider23 0
NIce to meet you neighbor! *slaps ass*
ThisLoverSoChola 0
#35-you are my favorite on here, BY FAR OP- Haha.. so you didn't here me whistling?..DAMMIT.. well i tried ^.^
W3BD3V 0
no better way to say "welcome to the neighbourhood" ;)
M4V3R1CKR13 0
ha 1 wins
losers_inc 0
she was wearing an apron so it doesn't even matter if they were crotchless OP is just over reacting
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
hey 101. in soviet Russia nobody gives a donkeyshit about you! :D
bonicr 0
How ****ing retarded do you have to be to walk outside in underwear? You deserve it...
FarSide 23
Please tell us you are not 600 pounds and have never shaved.
Loosifur 0
fml for not being there. ydi for telling me about it. D:
BLONDZIK 0
=)!!!
xmmichelleex 0
how do u know its a girl
burnnnydi 0
how many guys wear tank tops
wiggz1990 0
wow 41
thatonek1d 0
apron??? are you a guy or a girl???
Sniper3000 0
some 1 explain wat this fml means.....
PredyJessica 0
this reply makes me laugh because i had to read the comments to get it!
xmmichelleex 0
i kno alot or guys that wear tank tops
lets_be_ian 5
@101 - actually I thought it was a quite clever twist on the tired ass played out soviet russia jokes. If you don't know then you don't know. ignore it.
Eventrixis 0
In Australia tank tops are quite common for men. Although that may be due to our weather. They're also referred to as 'wife beaters'.
WeAllHaveFmls 0
Pervert
salegi 0
156-lol wifebeaters!
palatapus 0
so did anyone notice?
Freeze_fml 17
You're cool.
Freeze_fml 17
Urg, comment bug is annoying.
theChupacabras 0
hey freeze, where do u get those pics from? they're hilarious.
kk2krazee 0
It's happened to me a few times too!
Darko21 5
Wish I was there with you having that much junk in the trunk!
superman0000 0
118 nice ass ;)
Christopher723 0
Lucky neighbors!
xXxXxMasonxXxXx 7
welcome to the neighborhood xDDD
babygurl91695 2
Well if she is attractive and was wearing a thong theeenn lucky neighbors if she had granny patties on and she is not so attractive the not so lucky neighbors :D
madaoxsan 9
OP's housewarming gift: 1 bottle of wine 2 packs of condoms 4 horny neighbors of either gender
jo929 6
ydi. put your clothes on before you scare your new neighbors
yuhhkno 0
ahgreeeed:D
Lorysa 11
That sucks! o_O I wonder how you didn't notice.
Massdebater 1
#1 is so on the same wavelength as me!! was just about to say that!!
im_banned 0
kinda dum
mimvy 0
how could u not notice that!!!
LamesauceDx 0
idiot. -.-
ArtIsResistance7 1
I understand OP. There's nothing like the feeling of the breeze on your crotch...
Someone_somewere 7
x= 8
TaylorTotsYumm 10
GENIUS! ^
superman0000 0
isn't the OP a girl.????
ArtIsResistance7 1
Girl's have crotches too... Oh, and in my world, X == 8. XXXX = Beer, therefore, X = Beer/4.
dudeitsdanny 10
Win^^^
seracat 1
well, if BEER = 32, X can equal 8.
aidanawesome 0
retard
iwabo 9
*you're
crashsapphire93 4
actually I believe it's your'e retarded.
krisfersays 0
What? No.
glider23 0
Her what just stupid?
myleslopatowski 0
epic fail
justj2010 0
Visit Miami in the simmer. I mean, summer. Hotter than Hades.
crissyspic 0
it's Texas buddy...