Today, I'm the coach of a football team. To celebrate winning a game, they poured a cooler of blue Gatorade over my head. This would've been great, if not for the fact that I'm highly allergic to blue food dye. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went our school's football game against their rival team. Before the games started, I got my school's logo painted on my face. After nearly 5 hours of watching the game, I went home to wash the paint off my face, only to find the logo had been sunburned onto my face. FML
Today, I had to dress up as the school mascot for a big game. The costume was incredibly hot, and I ended up fainting on the field. When I came to, I was surrounded by worried kids and my head was in the lap of the opposing team's mascot, who was trying to give me CPR. FML
Today, at my son's soccer game, I tried to give him a bottle of Gatorade, but the top was damp with condensation and I couldn't get a grip. I wiped it dry and tried again, successfully this time. No big deal, except my wife was watching and screamed, "IT SHOULDN'T TAKE THAT LONG!" Everyone stopped and stared. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, in the bus, my Gatorade bottle's badly screwed cap resulted in my Jello being ruined and yellow Gatorade poured all over myself, the seat, and the floor. It looks like I pissed myself, and I still have to go through a whole building where several of my colleagues live before making it home. FML
Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML
Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, at soccer, I repeatedly asked my coach for water as I was feeling light headed. His response every time was, "Five more minutes". Eventually, I got so dehydrated that I passed out. The first thing my coach said when I woke up was, "Why didn't you get some water?" FML
Today, I made my school's soccer team. I told the coach that since I have diabetes, I might need to sit out occasionally. He promptly erased my name and said he didn't accept "slackers." FML
Today, my team was mistakenly scheduled against an over-60 team. I'd feel sorry for the old fogeys if they hadn't beaten us 3-0 and racked up seven yellow cards and a red on the way to doing so. FML
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Top comments
kingtz 6
Did people just stand there and watch you go into anaphylatic shock, thinking it was your celebration dance?
mrahhhhh 21
Are you gonna dye?
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Comments (143)
bengermin 5
Football? In May? Is this weird to anyone else?
underguarded 20
a little but maybe their from New Zeland or something where the season is completely different?
ragzy 7
The English football season is just coming to an end. Same for most of Europe. New Zealand being in the Southern hemisphere will be in the middle of the season, except for the professional league which is played over summer as it cannot compete with rugby or AFL.
alaskasfml 0
not to me. in alaska practice is about to start in a week or two and games start soon after. it just depends on where you live.
guckylynn 19
Semi-pro teams play currently all over the US.
bengermin 5
You know, I learned something today...
northern_lights 0
Is this guy talking about arena football?
underguarded 20
How does someone be allergic to a dye considering not all dyes are manufactured the same way...? And wouldn't you then be allergic to green And purple as well? Wtf...something's wrong here. Sorry op,
Timmeeh 17
At no point did he say he was allergic to blue dye exclusively, it's fair to assume for the sake of the story he left out those which had no baring on it. I assume if he'd said "I'm highly allergic to blue, green and purple food dye" your comment would've read "what do green and purple have to do with it?".
boatkicker 5
No, not all dyes are manufactured the same way, but since FML isn't going to be cooking a meal for OP, it doesn't matter WHICH type of blue they are allergic to. My fiance usually says he's allergic to red dye, rather than specifying that he's allergic to Red #40. It doesn't matter. When you're buying or cooking food for OP, then you need to know he's allergic to Blue #3 (or whatever), otherwise "blue dye" is specific enough.
brittaneejanex 0
you're usually only allergic to one main colour dye. and in most cases its red. but odd people like him &i are apparently the other cases allergic to blue.
boatkicker 5
I meant to add earlier (but had to rush off before I could finish) that certain types of dye are banned in certain countries, whereas "blue dye" is universal.
laurbear12 3
mmk
carteran06 0
fyl
robc32ca 4
the coach usually has control of which flavor is ordered. knowing you are allergic ... ydi for ordering blue gatoraid!
alaskasfml 0
not really. in some places they actually have other people in charge of that stuff, whether it's team managers, people running the concessions stands, or whoever's in charge of where they are and seeing to it they get what they need.
CrazyGirl445 4
yea most of time its the home teams job. or concession
Foxxy11 0
Gatorade is for the players more than it is for the coaches.
DcommaChloe 3
I just lost the game.
dangger 0
I feel sorry for the team, their coach Is crying about blue dye on fml, learn to man up!
colgesuks 3
you think that would have come up in one of your team meetings... or you would not have bought blue gatorade...
Edoe11xx 0
Taking one for the team
blackvyper 8
Man up!