Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the Y, someone told me I had a cute ass. I liked that until I realized: a) a woman said it; b) I'm a woman; c) I'm straight; d) it's my first compliment in 2 years even though I'm 25; and e) I'm so in need of positive attention I ran after this woman to ask for a date. Me desperate much? FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, a very attractive man asked me out. I'd have been flattered if I weren't the nurse assigned to his laboring wife. FML
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
Today, my boyfriend is so insanely insecure that he actually got jealous when a nearly 80 year-old man told me I had a beautiful smile while grocery shopping. FML
Today, a cute new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store when an elderly woman walked up to me and said, "Why can't every guy be as handsome as you?" I would have been flattered by the comment, if I was a guy. FML
Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML
Today, an elderly gentleman customer decided to tell me that while I'm not attractive at all, he'd still bang me all the same. Then he gave me a pained smile, like he was struggling not to shit himself, and left. I'm starting to hate working retail. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
I'm sure you're attractive OP. You'll find someone who loves you deeply and won't need to be satisfied with compliments from demented old men. Just be more confident!!
ikickgingers 15
He probably hits on his jello too... Mmm jello.
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Comments (66)
perdix 31
Get him to put you in his will. After he dies, you'll have some money and, POOF!, you are magically attractive*! *to a pretty scummy class of guys.
ifeelcheated 0
Im sure ur fat and ugly. Oh and did i forget that nobody loves u and that u will never get a boyfriend
geod69 8
He has amniecia & thought you were his wife
hateevryone 15
that sucks. you should feel good about yourself.
munkeebutt 0
Wow. That's just sad.
honeyBabie 1
Is he blind too! Jk I'm insecure to. I think most people are... Even those who pretend they love themselves as Gods.
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
You don't need other people to make you feel good about yourself. Keep your head up high girl!
halpertshomeboy 5
If someone elderly thought me attractive, I'd be pretty flattered, doesn't matter to me
anzie_fml 9
If he's in a nursing home, he's to old for you girl! Sorry, I'm sure that joke is overused, but yeah...
kei1108 13
Don't think like that!!! You are beautiful and you're doing a wonderful thing for tons of people!