Today, I'm on vacation in Japan with my brother. When he said he could speak Japanese, I guess what he really meant that he's a dumbass weeaboo who only knows the words "kawaii", "baka", "sugoi" and a few others. He ended up offending two locals so much that they beat the shit out of us. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while on vacation, my brother asked a native of the area for help. Once he got it, he thanked them with "Muchos gracias" in the best Spanish accent he could do. We're in Japan. FML
Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. While under the influence of the drugs, I tried to speak Japanese. Later, my Japanese roommate informed me that I was saying "I am a weasel" over and over again. FML
Today, my brother thought it'd be hilarious to tease a group of Pokémon players. They thought it'd be hilarious to beat both our asses. FML
Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML
Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML
Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML
Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML
Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML
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Top comments
SoulEaterSE 23
Someone watched too much anime
Emma1562 35
Your brother sounds like a dumbass
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Comments (103)
shinikageWolf 15
Speaking Japanese isn't just knowing a handful of words. Your brother sounds like a real baka.
GamerPerson 19
Lucky! I want to go to Japan! I'll just be sure not to invite "an otaku" since that'll get me a beating. **** your life, OP. :(
Xion0014 20
He probably learned his japanese from lucky star lol.
scratchsticks 3
I have a friend like this
rinzlerkitty94 31
I'm so sorry you're stuck with a ******* like that. I'm legitimately trying to learn it, because I am studying almost every aspect of Japan.
RandallClark 10
I was on a school trip once and we were with someone that barely knew English. My friend told me he could speak little bit of Japanese, so I said he should talk to the Japanese guy. Then he explained that by a "little bit of Japanese" he means he can count to ten in Japanese.
IAmClay 24
I like anime a lot, but I'm smarter than that