Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced my leg open. Why? I jumped off my bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned to Miss Virginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, I woke up after being sick from the flu and tried to get out of bed. I forgot I was in a bunk bed and broke my ankle in the fall down. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML
Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML
Today, I was sitting on my younger sister's bed while I was on my phone. She came in the room and pushed me off the bed, and I ended up slicing the skin under my eye. Now, my parents are forcing me to pay for the injury for "hanging off the bed". FML
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
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Top comments
lil_lucy23 0
is this your "coming out" post? if so, congratulations! :)
studentwoes 2
I will never understand why so many people who post on FML feel the need to write just awkward sentences. Why not just write "when Miss Virginia was crowned Miss America"?
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Comments (238)
omey123 0
Fail
penisinyourmouf 0
how the fuckk is he gay hes watchen girls thats straight u dumb fuckkers
boatkicker 5
How on earth did you pull that off. Frames that are meant to be exposed usually have edges that aren't sharp. Maybe they'll cut you if hit one weird, but not bad enough to warrant going to the hospital. Frames that aren't meant to be exposed often have sharp edges, but they are meant to be under the bed, where you can't cut yourself. BTW, no one cares that you're a man and got over-excited about Miss America, and the few who do care, don't care that you're 20. It would have the same effect if you were 15, or 40.
redbluegreen 41
I actually ripped my knee open on a metal bed frame as a kid and had to get stitches, so it is very possible. And I wasn't even jumping or falling, I just was crawling around on the floor.
toeray 0
10 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and broke his head, the mama called the doctor and the doctor said, NO MOTE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE BED!
CyclonePsycho 1
Nine monkeys jumpin' on the bed! One fell off and bumped his head! The mama called the doctor and the doctor said "NO MORE MONKEYS JUMPIN' ON THE BED!"
Pop1520 0
I'm getting tired of these stupid cliches. Stop asking rhetorical questions! It might get as bad as MLIA D:
Crush89 0
This is no man, not even a boy... what a shame
Kockdiesel 0
what a fag! you're such an epic failure of a man. kick yourself in the nuts immediately.
taycandy96 2
hahaha....
davek 36
As they say on /b/, "OP is a ******"
oopsohwell 0
first!
puentesaurasrex 0
stfu fag
WhatDidYouSay0 0
epic fail