Today, I'm 65 years old, and I've been given a bottle of wine produced in the year I was born. The wine tastes foul; not a good omen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed that my 80-year-old mother has gone through 50+ bottles of my home-made wine. She only moved in with me a month ago. And now I have no wine. FML
Today, I was carded for trying to buy wine and was told the dates were faded, so they wouldn’t be selling it to me, since they suspected I was underage. I work at the vineyard that produces the wine, I’m the head vintner, and I made the wine in the bottle I wasn’t allowed to buy. FML
Today, my son tried my great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML
Today, at the winery, my boss proudly made a spectacle of the new, high quality bottles. After over a year of employment without breaking a bottle, I shattered three before lunch. FML
Today, my son had a baby so I poured out the last of the bottle of scotch bought by my grandfather around about 1910. There was just enough for two glasses. I took a sip and spat it out, leading to my son confessing that he drank it as a teenager and replaced it with god knows what brown liquid. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, my wife of 10 years bought me a bottle of wine, a wine rack, and a wine accessory kit for my birthday. She knows I don't like wine. FML
Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML
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Top comments
fucktheworld943 0
65 year olds go on fmylife.com?
Finnboghi 0
I always thought wine aged wonderfully for 5 years or so, then got exponentially worse?
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Comments (44)
iluvmybf211 0
I'm a ******* dipshit.
DomoKunBieber 1
Wait you're a senior and on FMyLife? Well I agree, your life sucks XD
jdawg2010 0
Wow, you guys are all douchebags. Happy birthday Phil.
superswagbro 7
Why is your life ****** because you tasted bad wine?
dolphins_penny 5
foul wine from your birth year is a bad omen for the ppl who don't know this. also all of us young ppl should stop saying shit about the OP being older than us. us young ppl bitch more and waste our lives on here when we should be doing something productive.
jazzmin1997 16
Only for being on this website and being 65 years old I think you're cool.
shardynfahey 19
Wha? 65 yr old wine? Interesting
Rene Vargas III 9
its most likely stored wrong if done for a long time oxigen will enter the bottle and make it vinegar which essensialy ruins the bottle